and she dreams again...

anyone knows if friendster blog can put tagboard? can brek into their html? hahaa....if not..i cant decide which blog to use...
i think i'll stick to this one more.....whatever i write on either one..i'll just choose which to write what on...

these were my last two entries on my friendster blog..you can go see..i have the link there...

i wana say thank you, to some friends...who've been keeping me sane...online, offline, outside, sms, everything. Thank you Rene, for realli being here for me. Thank you Harri, for all the photos, for always cheering me up with yr new found dearest simon...Thank you Fendi, for being here whenever i need you to. Thank you Sean, dear Sean, for being so sweet always. Thank you to my choir members..esp my buddies, (bris and sistas), but most of all weiyi...coz he and i..or ratheryou and i have been thru alot for all our singing stincts in and outside of church....thank you...mel..my dearest sis..my best friend...my confidant..my lovely girl..for everyything..since the age of 13....thank you jilly..for asking me to call when i wanted to scream so loud and cry....thank you cheryl, my baboon..for yr whackiness..for yr love for me..."love" of coz...i REALLI appreciate it....thank you...to so many pple..who realli love me..thank you....
not forgetting two pple...my dear..jw...when you come back home, and read this..it mite be so long after you realise tht things here are bad for me. But i realli dont wan to upset you. im at my witd end. i cant atke ti anymore. i wana cry out so loud, i realli want out. no, i doubt you'll get to meet my side..coz its...not gonna happen. being with me is onli gonna make you feel sadder. i leave it to you.i love you. thank you for everything.
wait..thts all...yes..no one else...coz i just wnaa be myself, i just wana do my own things..i...pls..stop bugging me.
who did i wana thank? my bro perhaps...but...i wish..you could understand me better...
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Need to run on the beach, breathe fresh air, be away, and calm down. Life is driving me crazy. I'm finding it very hard to go on. Scool is just about over. I need a job, everything is in the pits, i only have him, my friends and church to hold onto. I'm honestl;y lost now, and very sad inside. But i cant tell him. I musnt, or else he will be sad. I stopped blogging on my public blog, and now FRIENDTSER comes out with a blog system. WHAT TOOK YOU GUYS SO DAMN LONG. if you had this from the beginning, i wouldnt have had the need for a public blog tht i had to MAKE myself. multiply was up, and all the many other forums tht allowed blogs with photos, and things friendster could have had. JUST WHAT TOOK SO LONG. blogger and many similar sites were up donkey years ago.
gosh. THIS IS COOL. but, WHAT AM I TO DO when i has just stopped using multiply a couple months ago, and NOW, then you guys have this. even my friend moved to multiply to write. gosh. i'd rather stick to my public domain. I DONNOE see how la. im damn hungry now. gonna eat la.
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so anyways...today...i think i realli hurt dear...im very very sorry...i kept crying...angry at myself..hurt at what i did...and just so tired alreadi...confused and sad....but even after i said all those things...he still cared...still stroked my hands..my head...still gave me his shoulder to cry..even if hes angry or sad with me..he didnt show it...i felt terrible........and it was painful seeing the way he coughed....