Tuesday, 3rd October 2006
Truly, madly, deeply.... EXHUASTED.

Gosh. I felt like I was TORN out of bed this morning. and I DIDNT HEAR THE ALARM AGAIN!
Rushed like a mad dog, and was frustrated with myself as I was ten mins late AGAIN. Argh fuck. Really damn blardy tired.

The kids were tiresome as well. They gave me a bad headache with the non-stop noise they were making, and the unnecessary comments actions tht are rather irritating etc. Doesnt help tht my almighty flu isnt getting betterr. Its really getting in the way of my performance and well-being. I think my weird eating habits have been casuing me bad stomach problems again as well. Or just heaty. Im honestly stressed out, worried tht after probation I might not be kept on, since theres so much I have to improve on, and punctuality is just ONE of the many things tht im worse than Janessea. : ((

But I swear Im really trying already. Really. I dont know how Im gonna cantor or gig this week or the week after after. So tired everyday. Work, after work, its either tuition which I started today, or blujaz. I have to, becoz finances arent enuff. The new kid, btw, is CHINESE ED totally. His ENG is TERRIBLE. But, his maths aint too bad. His mother is very nice and reimbursed me for the bks i bought him. so OK then. I guess I'd stick on, esp since hes only opp bedok interchange.

Thanks to her reimbursement, yest's expenditures went down to 70. 30 on gifts, and the rest was 10 at watsons, 10 for ez link, and the other 20 on food. Sheesh. And guess wad? At work, we have to share the kids' bday gifts, childrens' day gifts, so I have to pay another 25 bucks tmr. FUCKING HELL.

So yea... after work today, I sat at the bus stop, and like many other days after work, really felt like just breaking down there, coz all the negative thoughts start swarming into my head. All the weakness-probbing thoughts..and I just pluck into my mp3 player and tuen in to God, coz I cannot express how much strength I need from God. I just close my eyes, and pray and pray on the bus till the horrible feelings go off.

Today was bad man.. seriously, even after I left wotk, I felt my brain had been sleeping all through. Only at tuition, I started waking up.

Charles did the sweetest thing for me today. Really. I dont remember any other guy friend do0ing this for me before--like even good guy friends. I mean of coz hes a close guy friend, but i was touched. He bought me Continnum. U heard me?!?!?!? REALLY...... : ) Cudnt thank him more. I swear Im gonna buy him nine crimes when it comes out.

Gd night everyone! I have alot pf photos, but TMR OKOK! TMR!!! SORRY! hahahaa