and she dreams again...
It's Friday, and it's the best day of the week, ONLY becoz it is friday going onto saturday and sunday. I need a break. Work is geeting to me, or at least the worries of them all. I feel like I have no energy to go on. I do, but not when things are like this. i hate the process of it. i'm in a mood again. it's one of those days I wish i had more time to be out and enjoy myself, maybe, or it's one of those days where i search thru friendster account after friendster account,. and actually get upset that i only have 25 testi's while some people have 75, and 102. they happen to be my friends. Then it makes me think why are some people just more popular? What is ti about them? or i already noe. And then I see people i want to add, but do they want to add me? Yes. it's onew of those stupid days. And I can only atribute it to mere stress and weariness; yet I'm still up at 4+am in the morning. That's me. I like my quiet times. That's weird me. I love company, and also need my friends ard. i like being alone, reflecting, but a shoulder, an sms, a msg online, can be nice. or sometimes i'd rather be left alone. I think not always. Like my friend put it, sometimes i find it hard to understand the things that go thru my head. Yes, if you've read up to here, you know it's one of my rambling complains day. I'm so strong, and I know I am, but yet there are these days i crumble and think nothing more of my capacity.
I try to relaz, put work aside, then instantly i feel like im slacking. I shld be doing paperwork now, preparinf for letters, getting visual refs, rewriting my tv script, but yet, i left it to my producer and director. Will I give them the wrong impression taht i'm slacking and can't do work? I just can't sit myself down and try to develop the story further. i don't have that creativity. I'm not motivated for most of the stuff, except b&w photog and getting the specs moving. wth. I need to buy mounting board for my photos.
I saw a few skirts at esprit earlier. i like them. i wanted to try them, but if i like them, i'll buy and i'm low on cash now. But, still i wana buy. I bought the FIR cd earlier! *smiles* been wanting to get it. Happy about that. I met mel sis for dinner at KR's (again! hahaha), and we had a nice delicious dinner. It was SO nice to be out aftre school. happens once ina feqw weeks perhaps. I've had no thoughts no going out at all the last five weeks of school. i'm so afraid of making plans and having to cancel coz of work. Another thing, i'm just too tired to go out. I've been sleeping badly, i've been having a MAJOR problem waking up. it's worse than last year. I'm losing "motor" in me. But once i'm out, i feel alright, and want to do many things, but soon aftre a few hours, i'm all tired out again. I swear, the school hill is feeling higher every day.
ee, i wanted to clask tonite, so i just stayed online and doddled...but ended up making myself more lousy. haiz. (mel, mel, mel). So, i take outmy script for specs...and start reading all over again. i was suppose to do smth else i tot? But, no. Then I worry abt IS blady damn comp animation. what the hell are we suppose to present and prepare? I worry jerm will ask me tmr online and i've no ideas...so there, can't get the work done. My rgoup is going for location recce tmr...and, and...i tot they needed some form? Oh shite. (guilty)
Olright. calm down. i'm gonna finish reading my script, then i'm gonna go sleep. tmr major clean up of my room, I wana do it, so i must do it! Must! (and i dun noe where to starts, but i drew a map, yes, i did, mel are you crazy? ) the tmr jerm will ask me and i'll tell her some ideas...but i doubt it'll work?...then i'll wait for tv script to be rewritten by the other two heads first...dun worry...hmm...form, form...nvm, they find location, i can call up after tht...tmr, must clean room. Work, must put aside first. Coz before you know it, you'll be burrying yr head into eevrything again on monday. yeah.
Okaysss...so i had a nice dinner... a new cd..i shld be happi...so now tired, must go sleep...tmr must do alot of stuff...yes. Haiz. sunday, i'll buy mouting board...and go out and shop a little...yes. HOPEFULLY. But, it mite be another rest day where i simply sleeep in. yea.
i miss you. Stop appearing in my sleep please. it's not funny.
Aaro has a xanga site!! haha..and talks about such funny stuff!
It's Friday, and it's the best day of the week, ONLY becoz it is friday going onto saturday and sunday. I need a break. Work is geeting to me, or at least the worries of them all. I feel like I have no energy to go on. I do, but not when things are like this. i hate the process of it. i'm in a mood again. it's one of those days I wish i had more time to be out and enjoy myself, maybe, or it's one of those days where i search thru friendster account after friendster account,. and actually get upset that i only have 25 testi's while some people have 75, and 102. they happen to be my friends. Then it makes me think why are some people just more popular? What is ti about them? or i already noe. And then I see people i want to add, but do they want to add me? Yes. it's onew of those stupid days. And I can only atribute it to mere stress and weariness; yet I'm still up at 4+am in the morning. That's me. I like my quiet times. That's weird me. I love company, and also need my friends ard. i like being alone, reflecting, but a shoulder, an sms, a msg online, can be nice. or sometimes i'd rather be left alone. I think not always. Like my friend put it, sometimes i find it hard to understand the things that go thru my head. Yes, if you've read up to here, you know it's one of my rambling complains day. I'm so strong, and I know I am, but yet there are these days i crumble and think nothing more of my capacity.
I try to relaz, put work aside, then instantly i feel like im slacking. I shld be doing paperwork now, preparinf for letters, getting visual refs, rewriting my tv script, but yet, i left it to my producer and director. Will I give them the wrong impression taht i'm slacking and can't do work? I just can't sit myself down and try to develop the story further. i don't have that creativity. I'm not motivated for most of the stuff, except b&w photog and getting the specs moving. wth. I need to buy mounting board for my photos.
I saw a few skirts at esprit earlier. i like them. i wanted to try them, but if i like them, i'll buy and i'm low on cash now. But, still i wana buy. I bought the FIR cd earlier! *smiles* been wanting to get it. Happy about that. I met mel sis for dinner at KR's (again! hahaha), and we had a nice delicious dinner. It was SO nice to be out aftre school. happens once ina feqw weeks perhaps. I've had no thoughts no going out at all the last five weeks of school. i'm so afraid of making plans and having to cancel coz of work. Another thing, i'm just too tired to go out. I've been sleeping badly, i've been having a MAJOR problem waking up. it's worse than last year. I'm losing "motor" in me. But once i'm out, i feel alright, and want to do many things, but soon aftre a few hours, i'm all tired out again. I swear, the school hill is feeling higher every day.
ee, i wanted to clask tonite, so i just stayed online and doddled...but ended up making myself more lousy. haiz. (mel, mel, mel). So, i take outmy script for specs...and start reading all over again. i was suppose to do smth else i tot? But, no. Then I worry abt IS blady damn comp animation. what the hell are we suppose to present and prepare? I worry jerm will ask me tmr online and i've no ideas...so there, can't get the work done. My rgoup is going for location recce tmr...and, and...i tot they needed some form? Oh shite. (guilty)
Olright. calm down. i'm gonna finish reading my script, then i'm gonna go sleep. tmr major clean up of my room, I wana do it, so i must do it! Must! (and i dun noe where to starts, but i drew a map, yes, i did, mel are you crazy? ) the tmr jerm will ask me and i'll tell her some ideas...but i doubt it'll work?...then i'll wait for tv script to be rewritten by the other two heads first...dun worry...hmm...form, form...nvm, they find location, i can call up after tht...tmr, must clean room. Work, must put aside first. Coz before you know it, you'll be burrying yr head into eevrything again on monday. yeah.
Okaysss...so i had a nice dinner... a new cd..i shld be happi...so now tired, must go sleep...tmr must do alot of stuff...yes. Haiz. sunday, i'll buy mouting board...and go out and shop a little...yes. HOPEFULLY. But, it mite be another rest day where i simply sleeep in. yea.
i miss you. Stop appearing in my sleep please. it's not funny.
Aaro has a xanga site!! haha..and talks about such funny stuff!
posted by melissa at 7/31/2004 05:26:00 AM
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