and she dreams again...

My brain took a break for a while,and now it's gone back to the reflective, nostalgic mode. I've got lots to say again tonight, but first shall briefly share my thoughts on my day.

Mondday blues--> started off with taking a cab to work, YET AGAIN for the fourth time I think? oH damn me..Crowd wasn't alot BUT I was made to do alot of maintanance shite cleaning all over the restaurant, and it kinda got to me by the end of the work shift. It's work, what can i do right. Just grumble and mutter under my breath.

Nowadays, I don't have anything to eat for breakfast, coz there's nothign at home to eat. That leaves me basically very hungry thruout work. I headed to siglap centre's mac after work, and decided to have the nuggets meal. What else is there that is delicious and western at the same time around my area, other than all the expensive ones? I loved the new thai and spicy sauces that macdonalds has brought in...Dear's handphone batt died, so he called me from payphone..I made my way down to bugis to meet him and his band for their jam session. I totally enjoyed the jam session. Fendi is their drummer, and adora is on keyboards. Joe is on leads, and damn all of them are superb musicians! However, I think dear still really really wants to fulfil his dream of playing jamiroquai....I actually felt that the band members connected well, and they gell when they play. There is chemistry. I hope dear doesn't leave them, despite his true dream.

I understand that feeling, coz I too, wana sing mainly chinese pop, english jazz, and if it's chinese stef sun is definitely one main singer I'd focus on, coz I love her stuff. It's just that kind of feeling. Dear had a day off today, and I was happy he could do some of his own stuff. However, I think he's quite xian coz he's got sispec duty brigth and early tmr morning, and prob three days long. I have many friends in army now, and from what they tell me, and dear's experience, the army really is inhuman. They get ridiculous hours of work...and long long days on end. I pity them, and wonder how any girl can do the same. I don't think we can. Most of us at least.

We didn't join adroa and the rest for dinn, coz dear was real tirted. i think it was gd that dear madethat decision, coz I was tired out too.

Now for other thoughts...
I felt rather moody, and deep in thought since I got home. I'm not sure of many things, to be frank, and uncertainty lives in me, for many things. I feel that all of us are going thru a transection, and things happen to us...Why i say this is because friends from the past, have been coming back into my life. Maybe more specifically, someone who made a mark in soem point of my life. And then I started to remember things from my past...of many people..many places...and I realised how interesting it is, that people come in and out of yr lives, and shape u in some way, no matter how little. You share a bit of yrself with every person in yr life. It makes u grow up, learn new things, good or bad...but when the past tries to come back into yr life, when u have put it aside, u start to get confused, and a little disorientated, because, everything in the present moment is different ..and now the past wants to come in again...intention im unsure off..and i dont know if i can handle it.
How do u know things are right for you? yr partner? yr job? yr everything? im sure many of us have tot..what if..it was another choice...what if..that chance that was once there, worked out...what if he and i continued..what if i went to jc instead...what if..i took up tht job offer..what would life be for me now? better? worse? HAve i even made the right choice? Do i have the guts to analyse all my decisions?
I'm rather confused now..I think sometimes i don't know where I'm headed..or where I'm leading myself to...but i guess all i can do is go with the flow..my flow..people's flow..and see where life takes me..certain decisions are made for us..certain decisions we are sure off..but as for the rest..let people decide...things will happen if they have to...