very sad today.
Ive never received so much scoldings, so many assumptions from my family abt my thoughts before...nick hit the roof with me just now, and i could no longer make any sense to him. I told him i give up, because whatever i say, or explain, like i told mum, is pointless. so mite as well let them have thier say, finish saying and they maybe might not be so mad anymore. I dont know. Im obvsiouyl casuing everyone pain and agony at home. Whats the point then? Nick kept scolding me, and was very very fierce. He said things abt what i felt that i didn't. Not everything needs to be shown as prrof, like for eg, he said i don't appreciate, how does he noe? has he been thru what i have? But no, he scolds me becoz i cant comply with things at home, and making everyone unhappy. ONE person unhappy with me at home, means i kena from all. Who do i turn to then? But he scolds me again, for calling people to complain, when actually i called auntie joyce.
Scold and scold, thts all i have heard today from nick. Fierceness is all i faced today from dad and mum. Fumes are all i got from my boss, becoz i was a bit too suay. Then I cried , and cried myself to sleep, to sleep it off, but still got scolded for sleeping. I tot dad was really going to bang my door down/ Mum feels upset, everyone is worried. Wont i be too? But when mel cries, when mel feels so vexed up does anyone care? Nick also says he's tired. ARENT WE ALL.
Nick, if i really do make it thru six months of training in schl jan-jun,BANG it's you.If i don't, it doesnt mean I'd give up, and then u can say u predicted rite. Dont u always? Im sorry tht u are fuming mad, but tonight, i saw it really going nowehere. Voz ive given up, on trying to get anyone to understand. Just think what everyone wants to think of me.