upset. UPSET.

Worse day ever.
Felt like fuck this morning. day gone, didnt go shopping with mum. Nick got pissed at me. great.

I felt horrible, and slept till late noon. Very moody, and just very tired. Woozy head, and everything felt wrong.

Things werent so bad yet, till after dinner, a note from dad got me realli upset and nick scolded me for all sorts of things, making me feel like FUCK.

That kind of vexed up feeling when u can do NOTHING abt the situation ure in. I realli wanted to cry.

Im so tired. I want some time out, to play, to chill. Sounds damn teenagerish, but i cant even "slack" for one bit in thier terms. It's housework, work at cartel, and sometimes i get t go out if im lucky.

Please dont mind my entry tonite, coz im realli at an all time low today. i feel like crap, and everything crappy could happen.

Im also very very upset. Not onli do i feel like ive losttouch with the world, coz i spend most of my time at home, hence i dont go out with my friends, and they too slowly start to forget coz they know i have to be home, im suddenly a nobody's friend.

I think i have to explain further why im on the verge of tears too. My best friend, guy friend that is, has ignored me for a month now. With no reason at all. The last time we met and spoke, things were absolutely fine. Ive tries ways and means, be it a thousand calls, smses, msn msgs, email...but nothing.

It hurts so so so so badly. I don't know how much more to emphaise the pain.

Dear has been in camp too, and I havent seen him since last tues. I have to wait till saturday. I feel so lonely. I feel so so lonely. I wish he could be here now. But he has to be in camp. And when he;'s out, i cant always see him..

Then my best friend, mel, is busy with her other friends, and doesnt want to burden me with her own problems.

Who am i left with then? My other buddy, weiyi, is in camp too. Who else do i have???!!!!!???

Common, even brothers don't always feel yr sentiments and needs. I realli wana hug someone now. I realli wana cry . I realli realli wish all this is a nightmare.

I miss dear so much.

I miss rene so much. But he refuses, simply refuses to even tell me why he's ignoring me.

My buddy and his gf, have thier own matters to take care off.

I have never felt so sad before. It hurts so bad.