it's frustrating when I find myself lacking the talent, to be a really good singer. Im rathe tone deaf, to my own notes...strangely..but i can hear tht other eople are tone deaf,when they sing wrongly... i can never tell when im sharp or flat.... and worse, now charles has been asking me to sing harmonies for the songs, coz thts what lisa hannigan does, but i just cant do it! I JUST CANT, no matter how many times i listen over and over again, and how many times i try to practise.. it sickens me.

Why give me a talent tht i cant use completely?? it's very different from just practising...anyone cud do tht...I LOVE singing...and it's bad enuff tht i cant play piano to save my life, not even fucking classical... which is like THE BASIC?? And don't even go into guitar... people pick it up, *click* just like tht.. ME? I dont wana be good at just choir stuff..chinese stuff..and even my chinese and eng pop aint great....

I feel lousy.....
Ive got crazily talented muso friends....but i.....i sing...averagely onli... fucking shithead of a melmel....even teaching, ANYTHING and everything abt me isnt great...just making do as life goes on....... damnit.

Charles is awesome...singing, jazz piano, guit... it's all over him, on his face, in the groove he feels, all over...
Ivan plays the sax sooo well... and
My dear...? he feels fantastic bass... me???? GAWD.
Look at claire.....shes beautiful, her voice is uniqe..she composes...she sings her own originals..she gigs with such originality....

i wana be good.... I wana be pitch perfect , for anything at all....

Or maybe it's just tht im gigging tonite, on unfamiliar "ground". It's a new genre of music im touching on.... but i dont mind?!!! coz I dont wana JUST be good in ONLI pop... aghhhh