Another horrible day just ended at work.
Alarm rang, and i ddin't hear it again, even though I slept much earlier last night.
(Teachers have no life at all. It is NOT just a committment. It's a vocation. The more I know about this job, the more I'm hating it.)
So I miss the alarm.
(I have been late for work everyday for the past WEEKS. It's either I totally oversleep and reach work at 10am, or I reach work at almost 8. The discipline head used to insists we be at the hall when assembly starts. I think she's given up on me in particular. She is very good at seperatinh the person and the issue though. That's the great thing about the teachers in this school. All very kind souls, very understanding. I think they have emphatised alot with me. But I really gave up coping much a couple of weeks ago. Too much ridiculous things in this job to take care off. I just try my best to finish up the work with the kids.)
Wake up. Can't wait to leave the house and rush out. But I can never do that. As usual, stuck in the toilet, coughing out lumps of green phelgm, chocking over and over again, alwayse feeling like I'm about to collapse. After that is done, and feeling awfully faint by then, I get down to blowing out the tap of flowing mucus from my nostrils.
Ah. Now change, get food, and rush out to the main road.
Time? 735. OH GAWD.
Hail a cab,(as usual) but this time, with9out enough money. I have ended up penniless in school (work) a few times already, coz the money goes to my morning cab. OH GAWD.
Every time this happens, I don't eat properly. Mostly surviving on musli bars, water, and milo at most. biscuits maybe.
I reach school, almost 8am. Get my stuff, sign in, and rush up to class. The kids are exhilarated at seeing me again. Some , because they know they can bully me again. NVM.
Spent the first few periods making them sort out their English files and wbs, almost till I was out of breath again. After recess was their maths paper. I couldn't eat yet.
The stomach growls.
I invigilate, and wait impatiently for maths paper to be over. Finally it is. I take my absentee from yesterday, and bring him down to the staff room for his english paper, which the class took yesterday. Marked some of their compos as I watched him do his paper.
Immediately after, it is teachers contact time. *SHIT, I SAY to myself*. Attend meetinga nd art workshop, till 3+pm. Then my mentor wanted to see me.
What do i know? I nearly got into hot soup, AGAIN. This time Ive got a parent complaint. Actually not the first. My mentor goes on and on about teaching and her experiences and the dos and do nots...
by the time I was done with her, I closed my eyes, and knew that I just coulnt push on, and certainly was sure this aint a path for me.
The fuss over how much work to give them, the patience, the parents, the time for recess , dismissal, pleasing them most the time, the working hrs, the crazy meetings, the extra stuff. No. Im out.
A few more days. It's taking forever.
I have to complete the entire CCA marking and all. I have to clear my other marking.
I have to clear my admin.
I listen to my mp3 player at the end of the day, and hear the songs I wana learn so badly. No zest, no zest to do it at all. Want is to do it right away. But I can't.
That makes me even more edgy. I have NO TIME. Time isnt on my side. Health isnt either.
I guess I don't take these things well at all, compared to my bf.
Im just very tired, and all of u probably are too. Nonetheless Im glad I had this chance to experience this first hand, though I would take tht back anytime. LOL.
U have crazy teachers in the staff room, who start saying and doing crazxy things to destress. It is quite scary. Everyone is eating off one another.
Snoopy--I wana sing and play music to people who want to listen.
Lord, show me yr way. Guide me, and help me make my real dreams come true. I would be happy then.
Ok, dinner now, and back to marking. My music, I will wait patiently. Afew more days to go. Mel, wait, wait.
What doesn't kill you, will only make you stronger. But for me, It has killed me a bit already. However, I have also become strgoner. Full time jobs--tough cookies.
Alarm rang, and i ddin't hear it again, even though I slept much earlier last night.
(Teachers have no life at all. It is NOT just a committment. It's a vocation. The more I know about this job, the more I'm hating it.)
So I miss the alarm.
(I have been late for work everyday for the past WEEKS. It's either I totally oversleep and reach work at 10am, or I reach work at almost 8. The discipline head used to insists we be at the hall when assembly starts. I think she's given up on me in particular. She is very good at seperatinh the person and the issue though. That's the great thing about the teachers in this school. All very kind souls, very understanding. I think they have emphatised alot with me. But I really gave up coping much a couple of weeks ago. Too much ridiculous things in this job to take care off. I just try my best to finish up the work with the kids.)
Wake up. Can't wait to leave the house and rush out. But I can never do that. As usual, stuck in the toilet, coughing out lumps of green phelgm, chocking over and over again, alwayse feeling like I'm about to collapse. After that is done, and feeling awfully faint by then, I get down to blowing out the tap of flowing mucus from my nostrils.
Ah. Now change, get food, and rush out to the main road.
Time? 735. OH GAWD.
Hail a cab,(as usual) but this time, with9out enough money. I have ended up penniless in school (work) a few times already, coz the money goes to my morning cab. OH GAWD.
Every time this happens, I don't eat properly. Mostly surviving on musli bars, water, and milo at most. biscuits maybe.
I reach school, almost 8am. Get my stuff, sign in, and rush up to class. The kids are exhilarated at seeing me again. Some , because they know they can bully me again. NVM.
Spent the first few periods making them sort out their English files and wbs, almost till I was out of breath again. After recess was their maths paper. I couldn't eat yet.
The stomach growls.
I invigilate, and wait impatiently for maths paper to be over. Finally it is. I take my absentee from yesterday, and bring him down to the staff room for his english paper, which the class took yesterday. Marked some of their compos as I watched him do his paper.
Immediately after, it is teachers contact time. *SHIT, I SAY to myself*. Attend meetinga nd art workshop, till 3+pm. Then my mentor wanted to see me.
What do i know? I nearly got into hot soup, AGAIN. This time Ive got a parent complaint. Actually not the first. My mentor goes on and on about teaching and her experiences and the dos and do nots...
by the time I was done with her, I closed my eyes, and knew that I just coulnt push on, and certainly was sure this aint a path for me.
The fuss over how much work to give them, the patience, the parents, the time for recess , dismissal, pleasing them most the time, the working hrs, the crazy meetings, the extra stuff. No. Im out.
A few more days. It's taking forever.
I have to complete the entire CCA marking and all. I have to clear my other marking.
I have to clear my admin.
I listen to my mp3 player at the end of the day, and hear the songs I wana learn so badly. No zest, no zest to do it at all. Want is to do it right away. But I can't.
That makes me even more edgy. I have NO TIME. Time isnt on my side. Health isnt either.
I guess I don't take these things well at all, compared to my bf.
Im just very tired, and all of u probably are too. Nonetheless Im glad I had this chance to experience this first hand, though I would take tht back anytime. LOL.
U have crazy teachers in the staff room, who start saying and doing crazxy things to destress. It is quite scary. Everyone is eating off one another.
Snoopy--I wana sing and play music to people who want to listen.
Lord, show me yr way. Guide me, and help me make my real dreams come true. I would be happy then.
Ok, dinner now, and back to marking. My music, I will wait patiently. Afew more days to go. Mel, wait, wait.
What doesn't kill you, will only make you stronger. But for me, It has killed me a bit already. However, I have also become strgoner. Full time jobs--tough cookies.
posted by melissa at 3/08/2006 09:11:00 PM
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