I don't know which is better sometimes=-losing someone to death or losing someone who still lives.
I'm still breathing--yea.
Charles is a constant reminder, for me. He reminds me, keeps me in check, not to wallow. And I make sure as best that I don't do that, cox I am aware it isn't healthy. It may be in-born in me, but I'm trying my best to cut myself out of it. The mind wonders when it is idle. So so true. I have noticed that it wonders too, when too vexed, too tired out.
He was right, this probably is a test. Everyone is busy--how do I take it all? When I'm pretty much stuck too, within my reluctant routine, and health problems. No amount of rest these days, seems enough. I'm not coping with work. If I don't get well soon, Im gonna lose this job before I can tender my resignation or withdrawal from the contract. Only hesitation--the next job.
I am far from independent--takes me a long time to admit. I am far from strong--I can be stronger. Having Jw away from me, makes me think about alot. And I can't help but wonder whether " Once you say I can't live without you, it's the end.", is true? Secretly, I keep these thoughts to myself. A part of me feels that way about him now, and a part of me doesn't.
These days, I've noticed, thinking too much really deosn't help. Worrying too much makes me feel worse. Reflecting is one of the sure ways to end up crying to bed. So why do it? Emo is bad. I wished I never was born so emotional. But that has definitely been the one way I feel my songs when I sing.
With him or without, with friends or without, with a job or without, with a family or without, I still have to live. Even if the world crashes, I still have to find a way to push on. It's madness.
When am I gonna get a response ever? I've really not given up. I keep denying that I haven't. Who am I kidding.
God, grant me the serenity, to accept the thing I cannot change, the courage, to change the things i can, and the wisdom to ow thw difference.
Lord, I gues I also ask, for you to take over me, and walk my feet, before I lose my way further, and walk ven more aimlessly. I need you, Lord. Come, please, speak to me.
The nicknames haven't changed. There must be a reason.
Charles--thanks for being ard lately, dude. Really.
I'm still breathing--yea.
Charles is a constant reminder, for me. He reminds me, keeps me in check, not to wallow. And I make sure as best that I don't do that, cox I am aware it isn't healthy. It may be in-born in me, but I'm trying my best to cut myself out of it. The mind wonders when it is idle. So so true. I have noticed that it wonders too, when too vexed, too tired out.
He was right, this probably is a test. Everyone is busy--how do I take it all? When I'm pretty much stuck too, within my reluctant routine, and health problems. No amount of rest these days, seems enough. I'm not coping with work. If I don't get well soon, Im gonna lose this job before I can tender my resignation or withdrawal from the contract. Only hesitation--the next job.
I am far from independent--takes me a long time to admit. I am far from strong--I can be stronger. Having Jw away from me, makes me think about alot. And I can't help but wonder whether " Once you say I can't live without you, it's the end.", is true? Secretly, I keep these thoughts to myself. A part of me feels that way about him now, and a part of me doesn't.
These days, I've noticed, thinking too much really deosn't help. Worrying too much makes me feel worse. Reflecting is one of the sure ways to end up crying to bed. So why do it? Emo is bad. I wished I never was born so emotional. But that has definitely been the one way I feel my songs when I sing.
With him or without, with friends or without, with a job or without, with a family or without, I still have to live. Even if the world crashes, I still have to find a way to push on. It's madness.
When am I gonna get a response ever? I've really not given up. I keep denying that I haven't. Who am I kidding.
God, grant me the serenity, to accept the thing I cannot change, the courage, to change the things i can, and the wisdom to ow thw difference.
Lord, I gues I also ask, for you to take over me, and walk my feet, before I lose my way further, and walk ven more aimlessly. I need you, Lord. Come, please, speak to me.
The nicknames haven't changed. There must be a reason.
Charles--thanks for being ard lately, dude. Really.
posted by melissa at 2/16/2006 01:41:00 AM
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