Guess we cause our own disappointments and misery when we hold expectations of others we deem close to us and those we love.. and then they dont meet our secret expectations... and we blame ourselves...but thts olrite i guess...

Yearning for smth tht i feel missing.

I waited, the whole ******* entire day.
and what did i wait for?...in d end...


Please, someone, will I ever be able, to move on?
This is crazy. A part of me is so happy today. So touched by the gifts i got, the thoughtfullness that went into his gift. Part of it handmade. The only other gift other than Nick's.. and I really wasn't expecting them...Nick game me a feather flower btw.. :)

But a part of me is hurting so much.
I just can't let go. I just can't, can't move on.
I feel like just crying now, because I can't forget.
It meant too much to me.

I wana say sorry, to everyone whoose been keeping me happy this last week, and tonite esp.. Ian was so stoned out and Gerri still stayed till late with Ian and together with us... but here I am feeling like shit. And I shdun't be "rewarding" them like this...

I'm sorry. I'm lousy.
I become like this too easily. Haha sounds aibt like Baby Rachael, and I can still tell her not to get down so easily.. look at me...

All this hype I keep goin on abt my blardy birthday, perhaps is just a major insecurity or need for attention? But am grateful to the ones who cared and really touched me.. Charles thanks for the greeting again...

Maybe I shdunt step into smth new yet... I dont know.. I mite cause more harm than good.

Thanks Teressa, Weiyi!, for the greetings as well. Photos will be up soon. HAha.