Thurs, 17th August 2006, 3:52am

I came back online, because I am overjoyed at this hour of the night and want to thank God and everyone, for their love, their kindess, their enormous hearts that spill out with joy for me on this day.

I should'nt be sad? Coz many people are happy for me, with me, and are happy that I'm happy. I just recalled that last Sat, Nai, Harri and her friend, actually sorta celebrated with me over drinks and wished me. So early in advance. Jerm wished me again tonight, and already last week when we celebrated with cake. :) And becoz I chose to secretly take each outing last week with my friends as birthday outings, I have actually spent it with quite alot of people!

And tonight, as I was saying, so so UNEXPECTEDLY the first peron to wish me besides me meiji boy was Xiu Ting. She's the girl who worked with me in Ngee Ann pri, and I barely know her. She was overworked when I was sick and I hardly had the chance to "re-pay" her. How and why do I deserve someone so nice to me? She remembered and bothered to sms me. I feel unworthy, and Im v touched and grateful.

Claire, she made two cakes for me. She remembered I love chocalate. I've not been fully understanding towards her, and I really shud slap myself. She doesn't have to be so kind to me, even Pat. I cannot emphasize on how much patience both of them have shown me, love even. Thank you. Claire msg back and said "happy tht re happy". And I remember she msg me this as well some time back after we spent a nite out tog. I have a prob, of being too guarded with people, esp in recent months..and I think it's very bad. I close up and avoid them too fast after things don't go so well. What happened to the mel who used to give people many chances and it's one of my principals. I have to re-think myself.

Then there's The whole Gerry gang, and the friendship that has bonded us most recently. There's Harri, Charles...and just now, Pin Ji wished me. Gawd, I hardly even NOE HER. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Thank you everyone.
21, I really need to remember not to take things for granted, people for granted and to be more responsible, more focused..to live properly. I will always remember all ur kindness. At this point, if I were to be taken by our father, I wud had no regrets. People can be such amazing beings...and I feel I don't deserve it. I'm sorry if anyone has felt tht I've changed in recent months. For better is fine, but I know some things I became worse, and I really should pull up my socks again.

Who else do I want to thank? My brother. My only real real brother. For I know every day he's worried for me and loves me and prays for me. And I'm so proud of him. He's gonna become a teacher. He's gonna get married one day and have a happy family. He has seen me since I came into this world and he knows me inside out. Well, heh, of coz there are secrets LALAL. But I am grateful for him everyday, I just don't always show it. I love you Nick.

Then there's dad and mum. This day, wudn't have come abt if they didn't have me. So no matter what, thank you dad and mum.

And, really, instead of being unhappy tht he didn't remember tonite, maybe I shud be happy tht he asked me if im celebrating this week. Thts more than enuff for me. Everyone, has different blessings, and I oughtta be contented. I'm very blessed already and I want to remember that. I'm one of the many stupid hunmans who expect more when i SHUDN'T.

And, as corny as this may sound, I wana thank all the amazing guys who have tugged my heart at any period of time the last few yrs since I was 16 and a half. I've loved some amazing guys over the last 5 years, and no matter what has happened, I take a part of each of you with me along my journey for the rest of my life, coz all of you have changed me some way or another. Good or bad I appreciate both.

I know that i have a long way more to go, and so much more to learn and understand..and on this day, I ask for your prayers and wishes, for a better life ahead.

Lord, thank you, for putting these amazing friends in my life.
Thank you for my choir too. I love them very much.

Good night.

BTWWW!!!!!! =] i HIGHLY RECCOMEND all of you to go to my friend, GERRY'S JOURNAL (the new one) and check our the MANY posts she put up tonight, of (1) TORI AMOS vids, (2)TANYA CHUA ,(3)KIT CHAN vids and (4)ALL THE FIREWORKS VIDS !!!!! COZ SHE POSTED LOTS LOTS!!! :) GO OK! U'll enoy her stuff. And if ure looking for another avid blogger?? she's THE ONE. heheheee. I means it.