...in her head again.......
Monday, 14th August 2006
To you:
I hate it when you say things to me, and it affects and disturbs me the entire next day, next few days to a week.
I respect you and look up to you. And sometimes what i need is alot more encouragement. And if you can't give it, at least don't dishearten me?
WHY.
It makes me feel like not bothering about any og this anymore. That's how bad you can affect me. You don't realise it.
These are some things I really want to do. I know your good intentions, but can't you tell when I resist after the first time...
------
Can't help it sometimes
Sometimes, even when we try hard and don't wish to, "things get to us".
And it really spoils our mood. That's how I felt today. SOme things on my mind were really upsetting me. It's worse when the things on your mind are impot to you, and you can't do anything about these things. It's out of your control.
WHAT to do?
Feel like farking shit, and pray. And sometimes, a bus ride can make you feel more horrible than good.
-------
-TODAY- (written on bus 14 home)
Today... is my LOW down day after the entire week of relative HIGH. and I'm feeling very crappy now and I actually spent the day alone. I've got tons of things to do at home, and I hope that will take my mind off things I'm frowning over now.
I want to tell you how awful I feel today, but I'm not sure if I should.
I want to tell my gurl, but I don't want to give unnec stress.
It's a horrible feeling. You noe what kind? You want to msg a friend on the bus to tell that friend, but you refrain. Tears are holding back, and you beat yourself a bit ont he arm, to try resist and hold back. You curl up on the back seat of the bus, and really want to just bawl yr eyes out. You feel like shit. The person you really want to tok to, you can't.
The person you think u shud approach, you feel you shudnt go bother.
------
And of coz i LIE.Of coz a bday matters. Even though I have my reasons for hating it, and esp this yr's...but I have been happy gg out wif frens last week. I'm shocked you actually remember. But do you neo what I can't ask you??? I want to celebrate it wif u. DO U NOE? DO U NOE AT ALL?
BUT.
i. CAN.T SAY. a. word.
becoz. im no longer, entitled to that privelledge anymore.
------
And so, by the end of yopur bus 14 journey, you no longer want to go home and cry. you cry inside. and take a deep breath, go home and nothing seemed to have happened on tht 45 min ride back.
The world. still goes on.
And you stomp your feet a bit, just to stabilise youself again.
it still hurts so fresh. ( i really dont like passing siglap ).
Monday, 14th August 2006
To you:
I hate it when you say things to me, and it affects and disturbs me the entire next day, next few days to a week.
I respect you and look up to you. And sometimes what i need is alot more encouragement. And if you can't give it, at least don't dishearten me?
WHY.
It makes me feel like not bothering about any og this anymore. That's how bad you can affect me. You don't realise it.
These are some things I really want to do. I know your good intentions, but can't you tell when I resist after the first time...
------
Can't help it sometimes
Sometimes, even when we try hard and don't wish to, "things get to us".
And it really spoils our mood. That's how I felt today. SOme things on my mind were really upsetting me. It's worse when the things on your mind are impot to you, and you can't do anything about these things. It's out of your control.
WHAT to do?
Feel like farking shit, and pray. And sometimes, a bus ride can make you feel more horrible than good.
-------
-TODAY- (written on bus 14 home)
Today... is my LOW down day after the entire week of relative HIGH. and I'm feeling very crappy now and I actually spent the day alone. I've got tons of things to do at home, and I hope that will take my mind off things I'm frowning over now.
I want to tell you how awful I feel today, but I'm not sure if I should.
I want to tell my gurl, but I don't want to give unnec stress.
It's a horrible feeling. You noe what kind? You want to msg a friend on the bus to tell that friend, but you refrain. Tears are holding back, and you beat yourself a bit ont he arm, to try resist and hold back. You curl up on the back seat of the bus, and really want to just bawl yr eyes out. You feel like shit. The person you really want to tok to, you can't.
The person you think u shud approach, you feel you shudnt go bother.
------
And of coz i LIE.Of coz a bday matters. Even though I have my reasons for hating it, and esp this yr's...but I have been happy gg out wif frens last week. I'm shocked you actually remember. But do you neo what I can't ask you??? I want to celebrate it wif u. DO U NOE? DO U NOE AT ALL?
BUT.
i. CAN.T SAY. a. word.
becoz. im no longer, entitled to that privelledge anymore.
------
And so, by the end of yopur bus 14 journey, you no longer want to go home and cry. you cry inside. and take a deep breath, go home and nothing seemed to have happened on tht 45 min ride back.
The world. still goes on.
And you stomp your feet a bit, just to stabilise youself again.
it still hurts so fresh. ( i really dont like passing siglap ).
posted by melissa at 8/14/2006 10:43:00 PM
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