and she dreams again...
Man, I'm weak. Woke up real early today and went to church to sing for a wedding. It was a military style wedding. There's something I always take from the weddings i go to, and that is the readings and especially the sermon father gives. There's a particular reading i'll never get tired of, and that is the one famous reading about Love. Love's ways that are god's ways. Love is not jealous or conceited. It does not keep a list of wrongdoings. Love is patient and Kind and i bet many of you know what the rest of it is. The truth is, true love, is that great. Like father mentioned in the sermon, love defies the rules of science. When humans would clobber at each other's mistakes, and fight over something, a couple's love defies those rules and forgive, understand and comprimise. Early weds try thier best to practise this.
It was a nine am practise, so lunch was at 11 odd, with "he's" family and two other friends. After last night, i decided to just be cold and talk as least as possible with him around. But as strange as it got, he was very friendly today. ((WHAT THE)) yes.
SPILL hot SPILL cold and we seem to continuously play these games. Or I, continuously play these games. We had to go off somewhere together, just him, me and bro, so we did end up talking quite a bit this afternoon. STRANGLE ME. Just when I made such a decision. But with the mindset that there's no hope, it did feel alot easier to just chat and be normal. Not expecting anything is good.
I was mesmerized by his cute, girnny smile and his sparking eyes again, and sometimes he's so bo-chap abt things, and so lazy, it makes me wonder why i love him so. I think it may realli be true, angie, that it's just not my time to have him yet, and not his time to receive someone like me, and deal with something like this. he's too happy now. Honestly. he really is. he doesn't even have enough "experience' to have emotions for a sad love song. do you know what im saying? he sings w/o the feeling, coz he doesn't quite know what that feels like.
So, with no hope, and more patience, like I promised, I will continue loving, and being that loving, but whatever hopes, whatever expressions of whatsoever, willnot be done anymore. I'm already feeling better this way.
he's such a chopstick, literally.
Man, I'm weak. Woke up real early today and went to church to sing for a wedding. It was a military style wedding. There's something I always take from the weddings i go to, and that is the readings and especially the sermon father gives. There's a particular reading i'll never get tired of, and that is the one famous reading about Love. Love's ways that are god's ways. Love is not jealous or conceited. It does not keep a list of wrongdoings. Love is patient and Kind and i bet many of you know what the rest of it is. The truth is, true love, is that great. Like father mentioned in the sermon, love defies the rules of science. When humans would clobber at each other's mistakes, and fight over something, a couple's love defies those rules and forgive, understand and comprimise. Early weds try thier best to practise this.
It was a nine am practise, so lunch was at 11 odd, with "he's" family and two other friends. After last night, i decided to just be cold and talk as least as possible with him around. But as strange as it got, he was very friendly today. ((WHAT THE)) yes.
SPILL hot SPILL cold and we seem to continuously play these games. Or I, continuously play these games. We had to go off somewhere together, just him, me and bro, so we did end up talking quite a bit this afternoon. STRANGLE ME. Just when I made such a decision. But with the mindset that there's no hope, it did feel alot easier to just chat and be normal. Not expecting anything is good.
I was mesmerized by his cute, girnny smile and his sparking eyes again, and sometimes he's so bo-chap abt things, and so lazy, it makes me wonder why i love him so. I think it may realli be true, angie, that it's just not my time to have him yet, and not his time to receive someone like me, and deal with something like this. he's too happy now. Honestly. he really is. he doesn't even have enough "experience' to have emotions for a sad love song. do you know what im saying? he sings w/o the feeling, coz he doesn't quite know what that feels like.
So, with no hope, and more patience, like I promised, I will continue loving, and being that loving, but whatever hopes, whatever expressions of whatsoever, willnot be done anymore. I'm already feeling better this way.
he's such a chopstick, literally.
posted by melissa at 6/03/2004 02:40:00 AM
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