and she dreams again...

-tears and a quiet emptiness-

This feeling came to me again last night, as I stepped back home. Harri had Simon over, but she's ben cold to me since last night. i don't know what i did wrong. Her responses have been not-her-at-all. Or is it just me? It was made worse by the computer going mad on me again, and being unable to tok on msn with korkor and choir friends.

I miss kor..and his blog entries continue to make me cry instantly like a running tap. Im very worried for him. He's getting headaches and halucinations. I shouldn't have asked him to get stuff for me when I meet him this Thursday, but he pretended to take it well over sms. i miss him.........i miss him playing piano, and showing me things even though i'm not interested. i miss my comp.

Things got worse last nite, as i went online for a min(before getting cut off from the comp) and seeing the "Biggest _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ distraction" online. I hate how I feel...even though i keep wishing them best. i'm olrite when Im with her...happy for her even..but when I tok to him, or am near him...it gets to me all over again. We promised to remain buddies, good friends..but I find it so hard on my part, like keeping distant would be good, yet not.It's all terribly complicated. But all's good. They are going out this weekend..so..yeah

I have been worried about the jobs and the interviews. broadcast officer job interview is tmr at 4pm. Can i grab it? The adecco guy called me again, and the job is tough. Very technical and I'm not sure if I can do it. I think ryan senses my worries as well. Going down to E-Fusion tmr as well, for the interview., probably in the morning.

I woke up this morning, ate, read papers, (wow alot has been going on in the news since last week) and played some piano.Did soime laundry, are some tou hui and Harri didnt say much, in fact, she didnt realli bother what i was doing, and went out. I went down to the atm and my cheque finally processed! :P yay~! haha, now can pay some debts off. Called rene up and he called back. yakked since both of us were so bored. i have so many things to do, but I feel kinda lost coz im at home and not working.

1. return tuition centre an assesment book.
2. meet linus this week to get my blades back.
3. go for the four interviews and cross my fingers while at it.
4. cantor meeting and meet kor this thurs.
5. buy ear piece, batteries and bus guide.
6. practise for demo recording.
7. Go to brighton's usic shop.
8.Ppay off debts.

but today, feel lost, and dont know where to go...didnt even feel liek going out actually...but yet, also felt like..anyway, heading out now la...so late le...kor..miss you...

dear has been most wonderful and supportive...i had so much fun helping his mum cook yesterday. He's the best child of the four..always helping his mum and dad do things, cook and everything...and he'll always end up getting blamed for stuff...kinda reminded me of kor...i respect the way he deals with them..much better than how i did...he's in tekong now..and cant come out....till sat....but heard tht today he mite be able to bk out.yay.:) love him bunches...hes too good to me...;p

gtg now...late late...someone remind me next week's practise is at 330?? yea....