31st July, Monday
11:45pm
I'm feeling calm & quite peaceful at this present moment. I'm not online & at times like these when I'm forced to be by myself, & torn from the distractions of the online world, I usually start off feeling quite restless, & awkward. I notice that I start fiddling with my handphone & I start sms-ing. It's a great thing that I have these moments, & I get to spend time in my room that I decorated. I start looking at the CDs that normally sit by my bedside untouched ( because I have already ripped thme into my MP3 player ) & I wonder what will happen if my MP3 player ever "dies".
We are slaves of technology these days. What wud happen if technology took on a mind of its own & staretd gg against all of us? No mroe handphones to use, no more players of any kind, no software to transfer data, songs, photographs, videos ( that are now mosely digital), & NO MORE INTERNET! I fear that day,, sadly.
How many of us actually sit down & read a book quietly for a good few hours, without distractions? I for one, am certainly not familiar with that routine. Yet, I am aware that sitting down quietly in a library , reading, can be a very good thing to do. it is definitely a healthy past time. But I guess I am just not one to sit down. i have to move around. So I guess over the years, I have missed out on reading many thousands of good books. For me, I need to be online, listening to music,thinking it,singing it, writing my thoughts online, or on paper, watching tekevision,burning data all at the same time. I need to be communicating & i love it when I find myself SERIOUSLY busy just swapping msn windows.
I'm rather sleepy and dislodged from the world tonight. I had dinner downstairs at 85 with Fiona, Gabbie, Jocelyn, Lerping, Sean, & a few of their friends. I was lucky to have "caught" them just in time. They are the usual rowdy, chill kinda bunch of people. I don't exactly connect with themm? BUT I do enjoy their company to a certain extent, enuff to keep me laughing and less alone here. Sean walked me home after, & it was a RARE treasured ten mins that we had (least for me).He was one of the few I felt really good about. But I have to admit that we are just too different and not meant for each other, sadly. It's a bittersweet feeling when you're standing next to a person you feel so good about, yet the things u wana say haf to be kept locked inside. Unsaid but each party knows what is really going on in each other's mind at that moment (prob just by the way we look). It's very much like how I walked JW home those two times, and I stood ther & he stood there, & we ended off the night, with the unspoken already spoken 2 each other, but maybe just not delievered.
How many of you like silly crushes? i admit that I do,more so than when I was younger. it's still a rather unfamiliar feeling now (since it's been a while). I like crushes, coz u feel that nice, fuzziness inside. And some crushes are meant to stay that way in you. You enjoy it coz it's always all surface only.
Recently, I find myself crushing on one or two, and purposely crushing on a few just for the sake of it; & it's quite funny. Haha. They are all very nice gentlemen in their own ways. & I admit that my heart still misses a beat every time I am with an old love that I used to love or like or was fond off but never was with. I've finally accepted that they'll always be a part of me, & that sometimes it isn't wrong to feel that way. To all my ex loves, & present crushes, a thank you (haha).
To the one I'll always love now and in the future, thank you.
Every friend, every love, comes into our lives for different reasons & purposes. & they change our view of life, and a bit of us inevitably. I think we're all blessed to live life everyday, despite its turbulances.
Life is an interesting adventure.
Some of us, I'm sure write down (for ourselves) at one point or another, a checklist of who w used to like/ fancy/ love/ crush/ JUST for the fun ogf it. & how many of you laugh at it? COMMON!. Haha.
Sometimes, we really worry tooooo much.
Whether you believe in God or not, he REALLY has a plan for each & every one of us. & with patience & trust in him, he will give & let us see it in time to come.
I'm tired tonight. Got my period. It's so regular & accurate these days. I', turning in. Nights.
Some loves, or people who mean alot to us, really leave marks in our hearts & they'll always be things that we "take" or rubb off from them 7 carry along with us.It slowly becomes a part of us. I think even that, is amazing.
I've decided to love everyone around me freely whatever the turn out may be. Becoz I've learnt it's so much easier to love without expectations. It makes everyone happier.
People, are really good companions. If i didn't meet up with friends for dinner tonight, I wud have prob felt lonely & sour. But instead, after coming back home, I feel at peace.
When one is at peace with themselves, everything around them feels lighterm better & they generally feel peaceful & happy. It's rare to feel peaceful & happy.
It's rare to feel at peace & I treasure this rare feeling tonight.
Good night everyone.
11:45pm
I'm feeling calm & quite peaceful at this present moment. I'm not online & at times like these when I'm forced to be by myself, & torn from the distractions of the online world, I usually start off feeling quite restless, & awkward. I notice that I start fiddling with my handphone & I start sms-ing. It's a great thing that I have these moments, & I get to spend time in my room that I decorated. I start looking at the CDs that normally sit by my bedside untouched ( because I have already ripped thme into my MP3 player ) & I wonder what will happen if my MP3 player ever "dies".
We are slaves of technology these days. What wud happen if technology took on a mind of its own & staretd gg against all of us? No mroe handphones to use, no more players of any kind, no software to transfer data, songs, photographs, videos ( that are now mosely digital), & NO MORE INTERNET! I fear that day,, sadly.
How many of us actually sit down & read a book quietly for a good few hours, without distractions? I for one, am certainly not familiar with that routine. Yet, I am aware that sitting down quietly in a library , reading, can be a very good thing to do. it is definitely a healthy past time. But I guess I am just not one to sit down. i have to move around. So I guess over the years, I have missed out on reading many thousands of good books. For me, I need to be online, listening to music,thinking it,singing it, writing my thoughts online, or on paper, watching tekevision,burning data all at the same time. I need to be communicating & i love it when I find myself SERIOUSLY busy just swapping msn windows.
I'm rather sleepy and dislodged from the world tonight. I had dinner downstairs at 85 with Fiona, Gabbie, Jocelyn, Lerping, Sean, & a few of their friends. I was lucky to have "caught" them just in time. They are the usual rowdy, chill kinda bunch of people. I don't exactly connect with themm? BUT I do enjoy their company to a certain extent, enuff to keep me laughing and less alone here. Sean walked me home after, & it was a RARE treasured ten mins that we had (least for me).He was one of the few I felt really good about. But I have to admit that we are just too different and not meant for each other, sadly. It's a bittersweet feeling when you're standing next to a person you feel so good about, yet the things u wana say haf to be kept locked inside. Unsaid but each party knows what is really going on in each other's mind at that moment (prob just by the way we look). It's very much like how I walked JW home those two times, and I stood ther & he stood there, & we ended off the night, with the unspoken already spoken 2 each other, but maybe just not delievered.
How many of you like silly crushes? i admit that I do,more so than when I was younger. it's still a rather unfamiliar feeling now (since it's been a while). I like crushes, coz u feel that nice, fuzziness inside. And some crushes are meant to stay that way in you. You enjoy it coz it's always all surface only.
Recently, I find myself crushing on one or two, and purposely crushing on a few just for the sake of it; & it's quite funny. Haha. They are all very nice gentlemen in their own ways. & I admit that my heart still misses a beat every time I am with an old love that I used to love or like or was fond off but never was with. I've finally accepted that they'll always be a part of me, & that sometimes it isn't wrong to feel that way. To all my ex loves, & present crushes, a thank you (haha).
To the one I'll always love now and in the future, thank you.
Every friend, every love, comes into our lives for different reasons & purposes. & they change our view of life, and a bit of us inevitably. I think we're all blessed to live life everyday, despite its turbulances.
Life is an interesting adventure.
Some of us, I'm sure write down (for ourselves) at one point or another, a checklist of who w used to like/ fancy/ love/ crush/ JUST for the fun ogf it. & how many of you laugh at it? COMMON!. Haha.
Sometimes, we really worry tooooo much.
Whether you believe in God or not, he REALLY has a plan for each & every one of us. & with patience & trust in him, he will give & let us see it in time to come.
I'm tired tonight. Got my period. It's so regular & accurate these days. I', turning in. Nights.
Some loves, or people who mean alot to us, really leave marks in our hearts & they'll always be things that we "take" or rubb off from them 7 carry along with us.It slowly becomes a part of us. I think even that, is amazing.
I've decided to love everyone around me freely whatever the turn out may be. Becoz I've learnt it's so much easier to love without expectations. It makes everyone happier.
People, are really good companions. If i didn't meet up with friends for dinner tonight, I wud have prob felt lonely & sour. But instead, after coming back home, I feel at peace.
When one is at peace with themselves, everything around them feels lighterm better & they generally feel peaceful & happy. It's rare to feel peaceful & happy.
It's rare to feel at peace & I treasure this rare feeling tonight.
Good night everyone.
posted by melissa at 8/03/2006 12:02:00 AM
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