...in her head again.......

He's here... practising with Claire and Pat for Claire's project... I don't know whatto feel. It's very odd. EVerytime we meet, it takes a while before we warm up to each other. We're suppose to head out together for dinner tonight. But does that mean I'm still meeting him later or I'm leaving after he leaves?

He feels and looks so different now. There's this aura about him, more grown up perhaps.

It hurts so bad. He called me Mel again.

I shouls give up this fight again.

Cried last night. Was quite bad.. I'm not writing all this for the world to see and point any fingers at me. I just need an outlet to let it out. I can't think of a better place than here.

I really don't know how we're gonna do the gigs.

If only I didn't feel so much anymore, and not care. Just treat him like another muso on the street i got to know. But I can't.

Something I found out last night, rather discovered..made me realise that he's locked away another few parts of himself to me. And now he's even more unpredictable and opaque to me. Nothing wrong with that, but that just tears me apart another mile further. It was a way of knowing him but now...