1st Sept 06 (Uncle was cremated today)
I know it's inappropriate to be happy on this day, but there were too many things that happened between jw and I that made me happy. Now don't get me wrong, I was simply happy becoz we had alot of laughter and we talked abt alot of things.Somehow, I wanted nothing more, and it seemed to work.Yes, definitely I wished he'd you know show abit of love, but strangely, today he showed me that he was happy to haf me around. ( Well at least most of the time.) And that was a good change, definitely.
It may be just a day, but that's good enough. It's really hard for us not to let any edginess or awkwardness come between us and there was none today! I'm happy, really. I didn't realise I had spoken to him about so many things until I started regurgitating them all to Harri over dinner just now. HAHAH/ :) Told u she knows everything :))
But really, Weiwei and I went pretty smoothly today... am grateful to God for that.
And I hope he's ok...I was very worried for him during the cremation today. I was crying, finally. I cudnt hold it in anymore. He just stood there, expressionless, and motionaless. Again, my heart sank as I loooked at him and I knew how he felt. It sank further with the crying of his mother, and that kept me tearing even more. I feel alot for his mum, and like the way i heart his dad, i heart his mum even more.
Anyway, it's over. I'm still trying to accept it, and I know I ahve to. But it seems so unreal. One day Im holding his hand in the hospital, and the next day, hes gone. Gone, really gone....the memories of him are still fresh in my mind. But I know he is with God. And I have to move on. Take care in heaven, Uncle.
I have decided to wait for him.
Today, I observed certain things that told me to, and told me not to. But, one thing keep me going, and keeps my patience and tolerance abundant. And that is LOVE. I love him, and Im really not interested to know anyone else. Im sorry but this is the truth. I love him, and I will wait. He can throw at me tempers, snap, treat other friends better if he has to, or put up girls pics.. something tells me, that I should wait for him. My sixth sense is often correct.
I hope ure olrite inside, dear. No one can really see inside u, so please be strong. I love you.
I know it's inappropriate to be happy on this day, but there were too many things that happened between jw and I that made me happy. Now don't get me wrong, I was simply happy becoz we had alot of laughter and we talked abt alot of things.Somehow, I wanted nothing more, and it seemed to work.Yes, definitely I wished he'd you know show abit of love, but strangely, today he showed me that he was happy to haf me around. ( Well at least most of the time.) And that was a good change, definitely.
It may be just a day, but that's good enough. It's really hard for us not to let any edginess or awkwardness come between us and there was none today! I'm happy, really. I didn't realise I had spoken to him about so many things until I started regurgitating them all to Harri over dinner just now. HAHAH/ :) Told u she knows everything :))
But really, Weiwei and I went pretty smoothly today... am grateful to God for that.
And I hope he's ok...I was very worried for him during the cremation today. I was crying, finally. I cudnt hold it in anymore. He just stood there, expressionless, and motionaless. Again, my heart sank as I loooked at him and I knew how he felt. It sank further with the crying of his mother, and that kept me tearing even more. I feel alot for his mum, and like the way i heart his dad, i heart his mum even more.
Anyway, it's over. I'm still trying to accept it, and I know I ahve to. But it seems so unreal. One day Im holding his hand in the hospital, and the next day, hes gone. Gone, really gone....the memories of him are still fresh in my mind. But I know he is with God. And I have to move on. Take care in heaven, Uncle.
I have decided to wait for him.
Today, I observed certain things that told me to, and told me not to. But, one thing keep me going, and keeps my patience and tolerance abundant. And that is LOVE. I love him, and Im really not interested to know anyone else. Im sorry but this is the truth. I love him, and I will wait. He can throw at me tempers, snap, treat other friends better if he has to, or put up girls pics.. something tells me, that I should wait for him. My sixth sense is often correct.
I hope ure olrite inside, dear. No one can really see inside u, so please be strong. I love you.
posted by melissa at 9/03/2006 01:15:00 AM
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