Okay, I have two days of entries to type, and im too damn lazy, so let me sum it all up ok! (coz i need to sleep early tonite... hurhur)


Tuesday, Oct 10 06

It was zell's bday, so HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZELL!
Monday night, I felt like I was gonna die half way trying to sleep. Second night I'd felt this way. Went out with Harri and I felt ok. Not even three hrs later, I felt like I was gonna collapse. Went home and had abdominal pains and bad coughing again. Was too weak to go online. Went straight to bed.

Forced myself to sleep till mid noon. Woke up, felt very troubled and postponed tuition. Went down town and walked around with Harri for a little while. I feel confused, troubled, cluttered, unsure, and just simply lost. Confidence level as a teacher has dipped, and Im prob gonna stop tuition soon, coz I realised I wont be able to teach the kid for much longer anyway. Added onto that, I have enuff considerations if I take on a new job that will require shifts, worse case scenario.

It was quite a hilarious evening out with Harri. Monday night we looked for my new notebook. This night, looked for Harri's notebok at three different parts of town. She went thru the trouble of finding the bext out of the lot, while I, being the typical ME, took the quick cut, and bought one which I wished later I didnt, or cudve bought another. HURHUR. Well, thts me for you. But I can always buy those others next time anyway.

After we'd done our shopping, we walked all the way to somerset JUST to see my favourite watch shop and stare at the watches. HEH. i can only do this with Harri, and perhaps nick..) And becoz I was busy STARRING at the watches, I missed my bus and then Harri missed hers. HEHEEH. oooopppsiee!

The night was short, and while I was on the bus, I was thinking of my godbros... and OMY, guess wad??/ my youngest godbro was sitting two seats behind me!! LOL. So we dropped off for supper (bar cho mee at telok kurau), and ended up watching a movie at his place, which followed with me sleeping over till wed, which was today. Heh. I was tempted to call Charles and Elvin to disturb them, but tot better off it, not to. HEH. Watched Monsters Inc with Just, and it was quite nice to do smth different for once. Just and i shared his queen sized bed!! : ) Hes prob the ONLY other guy I can share a bed with as off NOW, other than my own brother, and perhaps, him. Janice gave me or passed me down one of her fairly new PINK! skirts : ) It's really pink.. hurhurr...but i find it so new actually... thanks jan... and tht rbings me to today...


Wednesday, Oct 11, 06

Just woke up really early, so I woke up too. I swear i am SICK AND FREAKING TIRED of having to spend an hr "unclogging" my lung system every morning when I wake up, on top of bathing and having bad stomach probs too. sheesh.

I took very long to fall asleep at just's though his rm and bed are btoh WAY nicer than mine... but I guess I had alot on my mind and I wasnt used to it. I had no prob with just sleeping near me, coz nick and I shared bed too when we were younger, and just and i grew up together.. so tht wasnt the prob...

I asked harri how to check if someone blocks or deletes you off their contact list. And, well, guess wad? HE has deleted mee off his list. Or blcoked, whichever. Ok then. Whatever. I felt leaving or not leaving, it wudnt make a diff to him and (I was rite. He prob felt its pointless to continue having me online since im not gonna talk to him anyway. But I guess i made the right decision then, becoz he doesnt care enuff to wana try even harder. How hes tried toking to me is for-goodness-sake, peanuts comapred to what ive done. Sheesh not tht i want to compare, but, its so very disappointing. I guess theres a reason why im adament on leaving. But hes blind to not see tht i still care. I gave him a damn free drink tht nite. Guess I gotta cool down...I find tht im a bit suay... coz if i were a normal friend he didnt talk to, he's prob just shift me down to his "later" list.. but instead he deletes me coz i come with emotional distraction... sighs... wont be seeing anymore dopeface nicknames anymore I guess...damnit, why do i even care anyway. fuck it.

I decided not to go back to sleep, and went down to town to meet eldred up, and talk over coffee. He shared quite alot with me today. Things Ive been thinking abt, except u can expect coming from eld, all of it to be MUCH more indept. Later, I went to esplanade library to jam with merv for the gig, and im freaking scared, coz i feel tht i sound terrible still.

The art cafe was having open mic again, and sill was there again! i jammed with her abit, though I think i embarased myself more like it, and had dinner there later.
I have an idea about working in esplanade, so i might give them a call tmr. Hope there's smth... hope hope...

Anyways, im off to sleep now. It was a gd day. Took my mind off things, sort of. Just gotta focus for the gig and really practise hard!!!!!!! Amanda hasnt msg me back, im worried. When are we gonna jam again! She cant make it due to lots of things on sat for her.. poor girl... hmmmmmmmmmmms...havent jammed with charles either... i just remembered i wana borrow scrubs from him as well. heh, seems like ive got a whole lot of stuff to get from him! ;) *yeah*.

Shall go now, tmr is the BIG DAY! RADIO!!!!!!!! HERE I COME! oh man.. scared...