ive been doing so well, staying happy, with the help of choir friends yesterday, keeping me company and all, even though im having fever...but today, rite now, ive lost it. I was suppose to head downt o town to meet harri and pat at barnone, but the fever hasnt gone off, and i was worried i mite get worse, so decided to stay home. solitude can really eat me up. got hungy, and wanted to cook noodles, but no mood, and too tired. Tried to eat tuna, but it didnt go well with me, so i kept it, and tried cake. somehow my fav cake didnt make me happy either. Now i just finished eating cereal for dinner, and i broke down. The person i want around is nowehere in sight, in sound, nothing. I miss him again. The noodles, the tuna, even the cereal, all remind me of him. He used to cook for me, but hes no longer ard to cook when im sick. He told me i cud buy tuna or cereal to eat, snacks, biscuits, even soup. Where is he now? Why am i crying over him again? Why do i miss him so much? Just so suddenly. I was doing so well. Why.
I felt suvch peace and happiness when I was in church yesterday. I was back with my choir, and I was back in my Lor'd house. I just sang with whatever I could use. But deep inside, my sould felt quiet. It has become too painful to feel anything anymore. My friendsm bro and I had dinnder after church. It really cheered me up. For a night, I more or less forgot abt him...but whenever we joked abt me being single now, it ached most definitely. Im happy tho, tht someone mite be finding love now, without even realising it...
My eyes are so swollen now. Will wait another hr and down one more round of medicine and sleep. It's so energy sapping..all these things.
Anyway, those who have my friendster, go see the videos i put up....and my new photos..more to come in soon.. just really not in the mood...so hard just to get myself to do smth so simple, like get a drink or smth. Dont even noe how to keep myself occupied, when obviously there are many things i can do. No mood now, at all.
I went to his place today. They havent unpakced. Just went there to return things. If not for his mum, i wudnt even noe where they live now. It's a nice placeand area, but not very convenient for the kids actually.
I felt suvch peace and happiness when I was in church yesterday. I was back with my choir, and I was back in my Lor'd house. I just sang with whatever I could use. But deep inside, my sould felt quiet. It has become too painful to feel anything anymore. My friendsm bro and I had dinnder after church. It really cheered me up. For a night, I more or less forgot abt him...but whenever we joked abt me being single now, it ached most definitely. Im happy tho, tht someone mite be finding love now, without even realising it...
My eyes are so swollen now. Will wait another hr and down one more round of medicine and sleep. It's so energy sapping..all these things.
Anyway, those who have my friendster, go see the videos i put up....and my new photos..more to come in soon.. just really not in the mood...so hard just to get myself to do smth so simple, like get a drink or smth. Dont even noe how to keep myself occupied, when obviously there are many things i can do. No mood now, at all.
I went to his place today. They havent unpakced. Just went there to return things. If not for his mum, i wudnt even noe where they live now. It's a nice placeand area, but not very convenient for the kids actually.
posted by melissa at 5/08/2006 10:43:00 PM
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