the wound was just starting to heal today perhaps. harri managed to help me cover it with a thin layer of "bandage" and kept joking abt some other guy to take my mind off things. But i just ripped open my wound again, as I clicked on the forbidden link.

he
has started writing again.

after one and a half yrs.

a clean tagboard, smth i wanted to do for ages, coz i felt so ashamed of having my tags there.

My name is gone.

So is hers.

and now it's replaced, with tht one talented bitch i tot he liked, and he said how ridiculous it was to like someone so much older.

i dont give a flying kite if shes just an idol.

picture, name, replaced name, two TWO MIND U, new entries, written abt his weekend. seems to me tht theres no pain for him, pretending is just a way of his life, if there is. or smth i know well, tht he never puts his feelings on his sleeve like i do.

ouch. it's 4am and i was planning to sleep soon.
but the pain is back. as i write this i feel the ache and some tears flowing.




WHY WAS I SO FOOLISH.

i shoud have known, it would never have been ready for me. dont speak of wanting to take care of me if anything happened. he cant even be here now. dont u mock me for this entry charles.

and i dont care if he sees this.


.why mel why.

i shouldnt go to tht link anymore. i should just disappear.