...in her head again.......

I met him yesterday.
I really have to be careful, to not further hurt my own heart.
Becoz I was very happy yesterday afternoon before i met him.
No, I was happy when I saw him, but the night didnt end off too well. But it was ok, cud have been worse. But I really gotta let go let go let go. If not, this surpressing pain will not be good. Coz right after tht drunk nite, I becae alot happier. And yesteday I realised tht my depression had gone. Most of it. Or I felt different. I felt yesterday, tht Iw as in control of myself again. I had gotten rid of tht job, and they gave me a cheque, and I got hired by ngee ann pri.!! : ) Then like the world cudnt get smaller, i bumped into jill and jean atamrine parade, and had a nice quick catch up session over dinner with them before I went to town to meet him.

I was really happy. Jill asked me how I was. I said " better, much better" : ) And I truly meant it. I was happy, monday im starting a new life. A new job, given by God, and Im back in teaching, in a different way. Im right next to KC, and I can visit schl as much as I want, and eat the food there and see mrs sng (godma no 2 to me). Harrr's mum being godma no 3 to me HAHAHA but of coz we never made tht proper la. its a feeling. And I digress.

Anyway, on teh bus 36 to douby, i wrote an sms to myself and saved it to my archives. This is what I wrote :

[Aim: 2 complete with Ngee Ann Pri successfully! I'm finally out of my depression! God, u have yr ways! : )w or w/o him, i'm gonna be olrite, im backn on track, (and at this point the bus passed marina sq so i wrote next,) wow, I haven been to music dreamer's in a while...]

I was anxious but happy tht i was gonna meet him again. smses have been pretty ok so far.. what was it gonna be like?

Ngee Ann Pri is hiring me as an assistant teacher. Till end of the yr.But if they dont have anything for me in Nov or Dec, I will work part time, at Kumon, or do tuition, or liquid kitchen, or blujaz, or GIG for cold hard cash :)

We'll see where god takes me next yea?

Anyway..i met him and we went for his jam session. His new band fucking grooves. His bass playing has improved a huge leap too. And Yue Peng was God sent to jw if he doesnt already realise. Yue Peng knew jw thru emails first, and came back to Singapore after studies. Yue Peng, best described, in terms of appearance, is very similar to Charles. Imagine the specs except thick rim, imagine charles older hairstyle, and t-shirt and three quarts. He has the same habit of wearing funny t-shirts like Charles. AHAHA. What cha know! two Charles in the same band! Character wise I wudnt know yet, since i hardly spoke to him. But he seems a nice guy to get to know, and his guitar wah lau kicks ass laaa. its one of the nicest guits ard can. Damn ex also. U noe those guits tht have a design on the body like a violin or double bass? YEAAA... nice nice nice!!!! and his playing ahhhhgoes with the beat man. They make a great team, coz Kalai, jw's drummer since the other band, is one of the most awesome drummers ive known! Gosh, he plays funk like nobody can. Simon is good, but definitely good in the punk area. Fendi, is pretty adaptable and a great drummer already. Byt this dude, MY GAWD, blows yr fucking mind away.

You shud have seen their jam. it wud make ANYONE go crazy and high. Jw is lucky and Im happy for him. Think hes happy too.

........but anyway, on the bus it wasnt too pretty. MM...when i got home, I wondered why I did walk him back and all, and I suddenly cudnt relate to the sms i had typed for myself. So tht worries me alot.ALOT. It was very hard to have tht care free light feeling. I must find it back. Only way is to take control of this, and make sure we're friends but i dont hurt myself. Its hard, when u still love. HAIZZZZZZZZZZZ. hehehehe

ANyways, got some load of photos to put up again! : )
[Man, I didnt go for YMM and I heard it was good yesterday!!! : ( And I heard baybeats was funnnnnnnn too! : (( ] HAHAHA NVM LA!, ymm can go enxt week, and baybeats can go on sun, and merv im meeting up later to jam! SO YEAP :D NO REGRETS MAN! NEVER REGRET! hahahahahaha...kk i gtg for jam now, and meet him and charles up later at earshot! SEE I TOLD U HE DIGGED NATALIE! im soo clever man! I knew this even before seeing his friendster.. i just noe? Cant help it when u noe poeple well HEHEH.

mel, SMILE mel... take it easy... u deserve to be happy, noe? : )

*hug u mel* HAHAHA oh man...