MOnday, 25th September 2006

[Abt... him]
A mutual friend said:

"All this time, it's been clear to me that it's over for him, mel"

"He won a prize wirth you last time, now the thrills elsewhere"

And the frend said more, but I don't wish to put it here. Some advice...


sighs. ouch big time. As I was on the bus this morning, I was a blank, coz it hurt right thru me. Just reading the first line over and over again. And thinking on all the times since the break up...sighs.

To be used, is one of the worst feelings ever.
To be used, esp becoz u have feelings, is even worse.

I've been foolish.
It's all like one big joke, played back on me, to teach me a lesson. or lessons.

For some strange reason, I just couldn't sleep last night. My mind was thinking too much, about everything, from him, to church, to work, to music. Ended up playing a bit of guitar again, which felt good. Somehow my guit sounds nicer to me now.

I can only pray for the best, really trusting God...


[Work]

I feel very stressed. Self induced, and also preasure from bosses. I need to improve on my maths and science FAST. I need to refresh my memory, and practise. Im getting struck so often with the problems. Today I encountered two tricky ones, and two tricky geometry ones. This is ridiculous!

The bosses are pretty demanding, but I'm determined to meet up and surpass their expectations. I really hope and want to. I have to be the boss's daughter's nanny as well. Argh. But I know I have to improve on mt maths and since I've been wanting to, now there is really a reason to do so. Those p5 probs are really not easy!! I took back one assesment book today, and will be spending some time doing maths later before I sleep. Im glad Im back to polishing my maths too, coz I loved maths in sec schl. So I shall be practising maths everyday from now on! : )

I have some good news too. I hope it works out! I was rather upset abt losing my tuition kid in tampines. But I prayed and asked God, if he feels I can handle it, to give me another assignment coz I need the money, and GUESS WAD? Tuition agency called me back today, and said that there's an assignment in KATONG!!! Two korean kids p3, and p5, ONLY wana learn conversation and pronunciation, coz they already have an eng tutor. This will take up my 1,3 and 5 every week. 30 an hr. :) 90 a week. : ) Pray for meee okies?? *cross fingers*.

Fark. Im so tired. But so contened. Im very driven right now, to work hard and really make all this work. Just give my best and see how it goes. The last time I felt so motivated for work, was sech schl-O levels to be exact.

i did make boo-boos though. I gotta be careful. Firstly, must becareful of what I say to kids, and no touching them. Second, I marked some questions wrongly :S Coz I saw wrongly.. aiyaaaaaa... :( I will make sure it doesn't happen again!

The shoes Im filling are VERY big seriously. My colleague Janessa, is leavin end Oct,a=and shes got 7 tuition kids after schl each day of the week. yet she starts work at 830am. O M G. - _ -. And she always looks so fresh and shes so so so quick at maths. She has been giving part time tuition for 5 yrs already. O M G. Discipline man.

I feel so much less incompetent compared to her, but I'll work hard to improve.

I pray God guides me, keeps me focused in all I do. I pray too, for friends and familly in similar situation, like my bro in NIE now, and Godbro in TP, and Charles in NS, and Harri in NAFA, tht we all succeed.

I researched on why people have poor immune systems, ie ME. And apparently, besides lack of sleep, frutis, veg, the normal stuff, emotional state causes immune system to weaken severely too. AHA. I finally get it.

OH YES! SMTH FUNNY happened at work!!!! All of us girls, were wearing SKIRTS! And all the same kind, the bohemian flaring sorta skirts. SHOO FUNNY. hahahahaha.

Oh there's smth I need. AN UMBRELLA. Been caught in the rain too many times liao. GRUNT.

Jared forgave :)God is good.

Ok, i gtg do maths now CIAO.