...in her head again.......
Saturday, Oct 28th '06
Cereal-tea for breakfast everyday has become delicious.
And i realised sometimes we tell the least to those we love, coz we dont want to hurt them, and not becoz they dont mean enuff to us, so we dont tell them things.
And sometimes becoz they are burdened enuff, and so we dont want to burden them further.
But sometimes they'll be one or two persons we're willing ot share everything with, becoz we know they will be able to handle us, somehow.
Friday, Oct 27th '06
(written at different points of the day)
It is exactly three weeks since I lost e kinderland job. No one else to blame and persecute other than myself.
Wake, and besides thanking God for another day, look at myself and curse and swear. Another damn day waking at the average time of 3pm, and sleeping at the average time of 4am, and realise I lie awake, unable to fall asleep, either because Im not tired enough, or because Im thinking too much. It's again my fault. Yet, I dont feel as healthy as I shud.
The mid-life-crisis saga continues. ##.
--------
Went to Sketches at Bugis to apply for part-time work. I hope to get it. Five days a week was my request. Any shift at all is fine. I went to Intercontinental and Raffles Hotel to ask for singing auditions/ slots, but they had none. I'll prob go call more hotels tmr or smth.
I was intending to apply at TCC (as they did advertise some days back), but I realised I can't do coffee places, due to previous fears at previous f&b places.
Got an unexpected call from Ana, and she was just one mrt stop away, so I met her at Gloria Jean's Coffee at Raffles City's new basement area for some chit-chat and scones (only two dollars!) : ) The extended basement area is really pretty and has some really gorgeous shops.
And right there, at G.J's Coffee, I bumped into Yunwen again!! We were like stalking each other or smth man! hahaha. She works there as well! ARGHH. And I was whispering to Ana " Hey tht girl's quite cute." And then I realised I know that gurl! SO EMBERASSING. Yunwen is amazing. She's juggling this part-time job, with a life-sciences company office job, and SCHOOLl; i think smu or sim i forgot. She's not been juggling too well, though. Coz she hasnt been to school in two months! Sheesh... but still, remarkable stamina. Kinda reminds me of the time I juggled three jobs. I cudnt breathe.
wow. Life is tough. That's the reality of things.
I had a really good time with Ana, though it was only one hour. I guess sometimes good friends don't need a whole day to catch up, coz u click so much, time seem so much slower, somehow. Shes alwasy a joy to be around. Really happy she never gave up on me since poly days. Not really, I guess. But still I really treasure her. She was as pretty as always today, with a different hair-do, and clothes and all. I think it's the confidence she has that makes her look good too.
*We discussed a 2008 plan. This is quite serious actually. I'm pretty keen on it, but we never know where life takes us. But if i dont get to uni, it's work for the next yr, and off to melbourne in 2008 with her. We'll be there for four months first, then maybe longer if she finds work there. She's gg there to finish up her last semester of her degree which she is taking here (it's a monsh uni degree). It'll be four months (her semester). I want to go there to work, soak in the culture, and see if I like the life there more. Coz like her, and many of the friends I have, I'm honestly getting extremely sick of the life here. I wana be away, I waan go see other places, be it thru uni life, or thru staying there, coz I am sure life in different countries really is a different feel altogether. At least it aint so rat-racey. York sounds so good. Chicago too. But Im pretty happy settling with Melbourne or Perth or Sydney. But so far, many friends's families are there, so I think it'll be a good choice to head there. Anyone wana join us? Im pretty much going.
Soon , Jw will be g for hols, maybe back to Melb too, and Charles will prob be heading home too for a while or to Berklee for schl. Sean's family is in Melb too, and so are Jw's relatives, family0friends. Holly's got friends there too.
Can u tell how sick I am of this place? No opporunities, no proper air to breathe.
-------
The new Damien Rice album, is quite a disappointment. I find O so much better. After discussign with different people, we all agree that he didnt seem so inspired this time. Only a few tracks were nice.
------
I met an old colleague, Kaiwen, from Cartel, on the mrt back. She just re-started work with Cedele today. She was jobless for over a month. She got real sick of the cartel system, and apparently many of the old timers are leaving cartel too. Yikes.
We can all feel the difficulty of surviving man, esp when some of us are just not so fortunate.
The unexpected catch-up with Ana today, did perk me up though. It made me remember that life is still quite beautiful and that there is still value in life.
------
I finally realised that I force my vocals toooo much. I shouldnt force them when I sing. I shud relax more.
----
Went to church for the Taize session, which was okish, and then we headed to d airport swensens for supper. I ate fruit salad for supper : ) Hahahaa. Proud of myself!
It was very nice for a change just to have some outside time with choir members, esp big Sam. Sam was very very sweet to me today. I was really touched. For the first time evr, he did the pat-you-on-the-head thing, and it made me feel doted on by him, loved. Dont underestimate the power of simple things like hugs, pats and all. They show alot. Sam has never really shown affection in such a way. I was very touched. And then he did something that totally " melted" me. We walked into this bk store, and he asked me what books I like to read. I replied " Literature, philosophy. I dont really like fiction". He was noticeably surprised. Then he said to me " Pick two books." I was a bit confused, than I realised he wanted to buy me books. So I asked " Why Sam?" And he said to me " I just want to buy u smth, now hurry up."
And so the delighted, gladened little girl went thru five shelves of books, and picked out two lovely books. *aww*. I cudnt refuse. I knew that better than anyone. Refusing an offer from Sam, is being impolite to him. I was extremely touched. Of coz I wasnt tht drama queen who would have cried and all, but inside, i felt like i was. Becoz its been so long since someone wanted to buy me smth, just on the spot like that. Save for Charles's bday present which I hold dearly, and the t-shirts pat got me. But this was just different. Sam felt like a daddy tonight. We spoke a bit on the way home too.
After Lawr sent everyone home, he and i had a good talk at the carpark nearby my place. Im glad there are still daults around, such as Lawr and Sam, who are willing to open up, talk, share, with people around them, esp people younger than them. Not many do that these days.
Some of the choir members forget that for all Sam is, he is as human as any of us, and prob experienced all the shite that we have, perhaps far worse. I noe that he understands me.
Why are people so afraid of opening up? Of being vulnearable to people who know them? Would they think any lesser of them? if they themselves dont think lesser of themselves, no one shud ever dare to. Its respect.
I think allowing yrself to be vulnerable, is a strength and not a weakness, if u noe how to handle yrself properly.
----
People have different forms of escape. Some watch movies, some listen to music and watch movies, some spend their time organising stuff, or dressing up. Some surf the net aimlessly. Some talk to people about everything else other than what really matters. Some sleep. Some read. Mine lately, has been watching SCRUBS. Im almost done with season three. I think it teaches or gives insight on so many different matters of the real life.
Getting back to the topic of small talk, tonite's suppoer was one of them. Everyone's doing the hee hee haa haa thing, but u can see, facades and things, problems hidden under those fake smiles. Or at least those momentarily happy faces. Im not saying its wrong to be chatty and cheery with people who matter. there shud be times like that. But when theres such a rare opporunity to get together for makan, shudnt the topics be those that matter? Then again I may be wrong.
Olrite. Back to scrubs, music, and life.
----------
Happy Birthday Jared dear.
Happy Birthday Sammie kor.
Happy Birthday My dearest youngest cousin, Audrey. U will be your mrs cullum one day, in yr own way ok? U musical fart, you.
------
Pictures speak a thousand words...
Saturday, Oct 28th '06
Cereal-tea for breakfast everyday has become delicious.
And i realised sometimes we tell the least to those we love, coz we dont want to hurt them, and not becoz they dont mean enuff to us, so we dont tell them things.
And sometimes becoz they are burdened enuff, and so we dont want to burden them further.
But sometimes they'll be one or two persons we're willing ot share everything with, becoz we know they will be able to handle us, somehow.
Friday, Oct 27th '06
(written at different points of the day)
It is exactly three weeks since I lost e kinderland job. No one else to blame and persecute other than myself.
Wake, and besides thanking God for another day, look at myself and curse and swear. Another damn day waking at the average time of 3pm, and sleeping at the average time of 4am, and realise I lie awake, unable to fall asleep, either because Im not tired enough, or because Im thinking too much. It's again my fault. Yet, I dont feel as healthy as I shud.
The mid-life-crisis saga continues. ##.
--------
Went to Sketches at Bugis to apply for part-time work. I hope to get it. Five days a week was my request. Any shift at all is fine. I went to Intercontinental and Raffles Hotel to ask for singing auditions/ slots, but they had none. I'll prob go call more hotels tmr or smth.
I was intending to apply at TCC (as they did advertise some days back), but I realised I can't do coffee places, due to previous fears at previous f&b places.
Got an unexpected call from Ana, and she was just one mrt stop away, so I met her at Gloria Jean's Coffee at Raffles City's new basement area for some chit-chat and scones (only two dollars!) : ) The extended basement area is really pretty and has some really gorgeous shops.
And right there, at G.J's Coffee, I bumped into Yunwen again!! We were like stalking each other or smth man! hahaha. She works there as well! ARGHH. And I was whispering to Ana " Hey tht girl's quite cute." And then I realised I know that gurl! SO EMBERASSING. Yunwen is amazing. She's juggling this part-time job, with a life-sciences company office job, and SCHOOLl; i think smu or sim i forgot. She's not been juggling too well, though. Coz she hasnt been to school in two months! Sheesh... but still, remarkable stamina. Kinda reminds me of the time I juggled three jobs. I cudnt breathe.
wow. Life is tough. That's the reality of things.
I had a really good time with Ana, though it was only one hour. I guess sometimes good friends don't need a whole day to catch up, coz u click so much, time seem so much slower, somehow. Shes alwasy a joy to be around. Really happy she never gave up on me since poly days. Not really, I guess. But still I really treasure her. She was as pretty as always today, with a different hair-do, and clothes and all. I think it's the confidence she has that makes her look good too.
*We discussed a 2008 plan. This is quite serious actually. I'm pretty keen on it, but we never know where life takes us. But if i dont get to uni, it's work for the next yr, and off to melbourne in 2008 with her. We'll be there for four months first, then maybe longer if she finds work there. She's gg there to finish up her last semester of her degree which she is taking here (it's a monsh uni degree). It'll be four months (her semester). I want to go there to work, soak in the culture, and see if I like the life there more. Coz like her, and many of the friends I have, I'm honestly getting extremely sick of the life here. I wana be away, I waan go see other places, be it thru uni life, or thru staying there, coz I am sure life in different countries really is a different feel altogether. At least it aint so rat-racey. York sounds so good. Chicago too. But Im pretty happy settling with Melbourne or Perth or Sydney. But so far, many friends's families are there, so I think it'll be a good choice to head there. Anyone wana join us? Im pretty much going.
Soon , Jw will be g for hols, maybe back to Melb too, and Charles will prob be heading home too for a while or to Berklee for schl. Sean's family is in Melb too, and so are Jw's relatives, family0friends. Holly's got friends there too.
Can u tell how sick I am of this place? No opporunities, no proper air to breathe.
-------
The new Damien Rice album, is quite a disappointment. I find O so much better. After discussign with different people, we all agree that he didnt seem so inspired this time. Only a few tracks were nice.
------
I met an old colleague, Kaiwen, from Cartel, on the mrt back. She just re-started work with Cedele today. She was jobless for over a month. She got real sick of the cartel system, and apparently many of the old timers are leaving cartel too. Yikes.
We can all feel the difficulty of surviving man, esp when some of us are just not so fortunate.
The unexpected catch-up with Ana today, did perk me up though. It made me remember that life is still quite beautiful and that there is still value in life.
------
I finally realised that I force my vocals toooo much. I shouldnt force them when I sing. I shud relax more.
----
Went to church for the Taize session, which was okish, and then we headed to d airport swensens for supper. I ate fruit salad for supper : ) Hahahaa. Proud of myself!
It was very nice for a change just to have some outside time with choir members, esp big Sam. Sam was very very sweet to me today. I was really touched. For the first time evr, he did the pat-you-on-the-head thing, and it made me feel doted on by him, loved. Dont underestimate the power of simple things like hugs, pats and all. They show alot. Sam has never really shown affection in such a way. I was very touched. And then he did something that totally " melted" me. We walked into this bk store, and he asked me what books I like to read. I replied " Literature, philosophy. I dont really like fiction". He was noticeably surprised. Then he said to me " Pick two books." I was a bit confused, than I realised he wanted to buy me books. So I asked " Why Sam?" And he said to me " I just want to buy u smth, now hurry up."
And so the delighted, gladened little girl went thru five shelves of books, and picked out two lovely books. *aww*. I cudnt refuse. I knew that better than anyone. Refusing an offer from Sam, is being impolite to him. I was extremely touched. Of coz I wasnt tht drama queen who would have cried and all, but inside, i felt like i was. Becoz its been so long since someone wanted to buy me smth, just on the spot like that. Save for Charles's bday present which I hold dearly, and the t-shirts pat got me. But this was just different. Sam felt like a daddy tonight. We spoke a bit on the way home too.
After Lawr sent everyone home, he and i had a good talk at the carpark nearby my place. Im glad there are still daults around, such as Lawr and Sam, who are willing to open up, talk, share, with people around them, esp people younger than them. Not many do that these days.
Some of the choir members forget that for all Sam is, he is as human as any of us, and prob experienced all the shite that we have, perhaps far worse. I noe that he understands me.
Why are people so afraid of opening up? Of being vulnearable to people who know them? Would they think any lesser of them? if they themselves dont think lesser of themselves, no one shud ever dare to. Its respect.
I think allowing yrself to be vulnerable, is a strength and not a weakness, if u noe how to handle yrself properly.
----
People have different forms of escape. Some watch movies, some listen to music and watch movies, some spend their time organising stuff, or dressing up. Some surf the net aimlessly. Some talk to people about everything else other than what really matters. Some sleep. Some read. Mine lately, has been watching SCRUBS. Im almost done with season three. I think it teaches or gives insight on so many different matters of the real life.
Getting back to the topic of small talk, tonite's suppoer was one of them. Everyone's doing the hee hee haa haa thing, but u can see, facades and things, problems hidden under those fake smiles. Or at least those momentarily happy faces. Im not saying its wrong to be chatty and cheery with people who matter. there shud be times like that. But when theres such a rare opporunity to get together for makan, shudnt the topics be those that matter? Then again I may be wrong.
Olrite. Back to scrubs, music, and life.
----------
Happy Birthday Jared dear.
Happy Birthday Sammie kor.
Happy Birthday My dearest youngest cousin, Audrey. U will be your mrs cullum one day, in yr own way ok? U musical fart, you.
------
Pictures speak a thousand words...
posted by melissa at 10/28/2006 06:45:00 PM
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