Tuesday, Oct 31st '06
JB DAY!!!!
These were the things I tot I would get in JB:
my mary janes shoes,
socks,
harri's little miss sunshine vcd,
belt,
watch,
slippers,
and i came back with none. HAHA. Instead I got myself a dress for christmas and gig. gosh. The exchange rate now is crazy. It was quite an experience taking the various buses to the customs and switching buses and all. My passport was a brand new one too : ) First time without daddy and mummy. It was quite interesting. Was there from 11-4pm, coz Ana's mum got tired. But it was enuff to see stuff. The market was the eye opener mostly. The food there was not bad, esp the peanut cake which was freshly-baked-hot.
I didnt bring much with me, so there were alot of things I cudnt get. But thts a gd thing, somehow. Shud be contented. ARGHH. Ana and I bithced of the woes of broke women. OHH POOR US. hahaa. Even in bugis today, we saw a thousand and one lovely things. NVM. They can wait.
-----------------
I realise that more often than not, its actually not you, who disappoints me. Its me who disappoints myself. My self expectations of you, never quite changed, and that my bad.So worrie not. :)
Ive started to understand u alot better now. And im happy about that. I can see alot of things yr way now, and the sky is alot clearer, in that sense. Theres a part of the sky that will stay greyish, but I have all the patience u need. I will climb mountains if u deem me need to.
----------------
OMG. IM SO DAMN FAT.
how thw hell did this happen.farrk.
damn broke too man.
I needed the JB trip, and I dont regret it, but I kinda noe tooo,t hat I shud have just used tht money for my hiromi tix instead.
Well, gotta be responsible for my actions. HUR. oh-oh.
Im starting a new regime. no more chocolates. no more unnecc eating. more water, more fruits, more cereal, only bread with some butter.
more grooming, more discipline.
More proper rest, more practise.
OH and 20 crunches a day, 10 push ups a day.
im serious abt tht.
----------
Monday, Oct 30th '06
I was watching these awesome videos that Pat shared with me on U Tube from Rehearsals.com and i realised one thing abt music: It is a calling. And if u want to get better at it, you gotta keep practising, be persistant and patient at the same time because the journey of getting to where you want to be, is just as important. And more often than not, people think that you can just go on without much practise, and just rely on talent. No, thts wrong. Musicians who wana make it somewhere, gotta keep practising, keep being creative, keep working. practise and honing the craft is a never ending cycle. Its smth that MUST be done for serious musicians.Its a commitment. Rushing into things wont get u anywhere, and i realised personal habits will cause yr career downfall even. And in this case I mean music. Laziness, complacency, lack of focus, lack of patience, lack of creativity, lack of practise, which all clum together as ill discipline, which any one of us can have, are things that will jam the musical journey for real. It can jeopadise u. If in real life, ure not tolerant enuff, ure not focused enuff, whats there to make u in music?
What the videos taught me was this: If MUSIC is apparently what u really really claim to live so much, then nothing shud stop u from going all out to grab what u want. BUT IF u rely only on talent, the brain has all these ideas, and ideas are good. But these ideas have no way of being materialised, because ure not skillfull enuff, to bring out these ideas onto the instruments, then ure no better than one without.
Im not arrowing this at anyone, but rather myself. I sat there and watched the vids with Pat last night, and realised so much abt me that needs to be worked on, for my better, and for the better of my true passion : music. My one true love, not romantically but personally, is to sing. And that would mean I shud be practising daily my vocals, i shud be trying out new songs all the time, to see what im good at. I shud be trying to learn to play them. So many things. I watched Imogen Heap on rehearsals. com,a nd she uses a synthesizer to LOOP HER VOICE, and record+ perform her tracks live. It was mind blowing to just WATCH HER do that u know?!
With music, i gotta be patient, i gotta be heardworking, i gotta heva never-say-die attitude. I gotta learn and be willing to try out new things. It needs commitment, and a whole lot of focus, discipline, determinationa nd patience. Im so afriad now. FEAR, is the one thing tht holds us back all the time. I realise ll these points are things I need to get working on.
So, there are THREE P'S: Patience, Persistance, Practise. But let me add five more please: Perseverance, Prioritise, Passion, Positiveness, and Prayer.
The videos taught me that, with music, u have self discovery along the journey to where u want to get to; be it a great singer, a great song-writer, great lyricists, great composer, and the list goes on. But everyone will discover things abt themselves. Music is so personally-connected. I think Ive made my first most important discovery after all these months. And besides all these points, Humility and the willingness to listen to critic is also so crucial.
I guess "REAP WHAT U SOW" really becomes even more logical now. It cud be with saving money, it cud be with practising, it cud be with just abt everything in life. The vidoes also taught that, u shud practise till it comes a point, ure so damn good at home, when u go out and perform in front of others, people simply go WOW. And they have no idea how many hours of musical labour went into it. And I totally understand that feeling.I guess it cud even be as simple as taking vitamins every morning for example.
Im affected. Greatly. And I have done up a DISCIPLINE mind map that I dont wish see go to waste. So Ive made some adjustments. Hopefully these adjustments,w ith time, will see some resutls. And even with people, music teaches u to be more understanding, more open hearted and mature, esp with the people around you. And Ive already begun to understand those close to me even more.
--------------------------
How is it that i always dont know anything? am i that dumb?
Wonder how I'll do in this job. Oh yeah, im starting work with liquid kitchen next week. (And i'll save u guys from all the insecurities i rambled into my book, coz its an swful lot), so yea, sometimes its weird. We wana do so manyt hings when we have little time, yet bum when we have too much time. Irony of it all.
Ive alot of doubts yet alot of determination.
Please pray for me, for my patience and my aim to reach my goals. I have set out a savings plan for many things if this goes all well.
I realised with all the things that happened to me, ive become easily irritated, or too hurried, too anxious. I really gotta learn tolerance and patience.
I will make myself a better person again. Someone I can be proud of again. I want to and will reach my goals. I will see resutls at the end of the long road.
-------------------------
I checked Berklee and Monash Uni's scholarships. Theres really no way that I will be exceptionally gifted as a musician, in their own words, to get in. Scholarships has never been my second name. If it ever is, it'd prob take another twenty yrs.
I really want to study music. I need the basics. Theres no way im gonna be able to write good music without . Shit.
-------------------------
Why is it every book I read, every story remind me of us.
But
with that said, I am very proud of the US today. Nothing is perfect, but working at it is enuff for me. I love you.
------------------------
JB DAY!!!!
These were the things I tot I would get in JB:
my mary janes shoes,
socks,
harri's little miss sunshine vcd,
belt,
watch,
slippers,
and i came back with none. HAHA. Instead I got myself a dress for christmas and gig. gosh. The exchange rate now is crazy. It was quite an experience taking the various buses to the customs and switching buses and all. My passport was a brand new one too : ) First time without daddy and mummy. It was quite interesting. Was there from 11-4pm, coz Ana's mum got tired. But it was enuff to see stuff. The market was the eye opener mostly. The food there was not bad, esp the peanut cake which was freshly-baked-hot.
I didnt bring much with me, so there were alot of things I cudnt get. But thts a gd thing, somehow. Shud be contented. ARGHH. Ana and I bithced of the woes of broke women. OHH POOR US. hahaa. Even in bugis today, we saw a thousand and one lovely things. NVM. They can wait.
-----------------
I realise that more often than not, its actually not you, who disappoints me. Its me who disappoints myself. My self expectations of you, never quite changed, and that my bad.So worrie not. :)
Ive started to understand u alot better now. And im happy about that. I can see alot of things yr way now, and the sky is alot clearer, in that sense. Theres a part of the sky that will stay greyish, but I have all the patience u need. I will climb mountains if u deem me need to.
----------------
OMG. IM SO DAMN FAT.
how thw hell did this happen.farrk.
damn broke too man.
I needed the JB trip, and I dont regret it, but I kinda noe tooo,t hat I shud have just used tht money for my hiromi tix instead.
Well, gotta be responsible for my actions. HUR. oh-oh.
Im starting a new regime. no more chocolates. no more unnecc eating. more water, more fruits, more cereal, only bread with some butter.
more grooming, more discipline.
More proper rest, more practise.
OH and 20 crunches a day, 10 push ups a day.
im serious abt tht.
----------
Monday, Oct 30th '06
I was watching these awesome videos that Pat shared with me on U Tube from Rehearsals.com and i realised one thing abt music: It is a calling. And if u want to get better at it, you gotta keep practising, be persistant and patient at the same time because the journey of getting to where you want to be, is just as important. And more often than not, people think that you can just go on without much practise, and just rely on talent. No, thts wrong. Musicians who wana make it somewhere, gotta keep practising, keep being creative, keep working. practise and honing the craft is a never ending cycle. Its smth that MUST be done for serious musicians.Its a commitment. Rushing into things wont get u anywhere, and i realised personal habits will cause yr career downfall even. And in this case I mean music. Laziness, complacency, lack of focus, lack of patience, lack of creativity, lack of practise, which all clum together as ill discipline, which any one of us can have, are things that will jam the musical journey for real. It can jeopadise u. If in real life, ure not tolerant enuff, ure not focused enuff, whats there to make u in music?
What the videos taught me was this: If MUSIC is apparently what u really really claim to live so much, then nothing shud stop u from going all out to grab what u want. BUT IF u rely only on talent, the brain has all these ideas, and ideas are good. But these ideas have no way of being materialised, because ure not skillfull enuff, to bring out these ideas onto the instruments, then ure no better than one without.
Im not arrowing this at anyone, but rather myself. I sat there and watched the vids with Pat last night, and realised so much abt me that needs to be worked on, for my better, and for the better of my true passion : music. My one true love, not romantically but personally, is to sing. And that would mean I shud be practising daily my vocals, i shud be trying out new songs all the time, to see what im good at. I shud be trying to learn to play them. So many things. I watched Imogen Heap on rehearsals. com,a nd she uses a synthesizer to LOOP HER VOICE, and record+ perform her tracks live. It was mind blowing to just WATCH HER do that u know?!
With music, i gotta be patient, i gotta be heardworking, i gotta heva never-say-die attitude. I gotta learn and be willing to try out new things. It needs commitment, and a whole lot of focus, discipline, determinationa nd patience. Im so afriad now. FEAR, is the one thing tht holds us back all the time. I realise ll these points are things I need to get working on.
So, there are THREE P'S: Patience, Persistance, Practise. But let me add five more please: Perseverance, Prioritise, Passion, Positiveness, and Prayer.
The videos taught me that, with music, u have self discovery along the journey to where u want to get to; be it a great singer, a great song-writer, great lyricists, great composer, and the list goes on. But everyone will discover things abt themselves. Music is so personally-connected. I think Ive made my first most important discovery after all these months. And besides all these points, Humility and the willingness to listen to critic is also so crucial.
I guess "REAP WHAT U SOW" really becomes even more logical now. It cud be with saving money, it cud be with practising, it cud be with just abt everything in life. The vidoes also taught that, u shud practise till it comes a point, ure so damn good at home, when u go out and perform in front of others, people simply go WOW. And they have no idea how many hours of musical labour went into it. And I totally understand that feeling.I guess it cud even be as simple as taking vitamins every morning for example.
Im affected. Greatly. And I have done up a DISCIPLINE mind map that I dont wish see go to waste. So Ive made some adjustments. Hopefully these adjustments,w ith time, will see some resutls. And even with people, music teaches u to be more understanding, more open hearted and mature, esp with the people around you. And Ive already begun to understand those close to me even more.
--------------------------
How is it that i always dont know anything? am i that dumb?
Wonder how I'll do in this job. Oh yeah, im starting work with liquid kitchen next week. (And i'll save u guys from all the insecurities i rambled into my book, coz its an swful lot), so yea, sometimes its weird. We wana do so manyt hings when we have little time, yet bum when we have too much time. Irony of it all.
Ive alot of doubts yet alot of determination.
Please pray for me, for my patience and my aim to reach my goals. I have set out a savings plan for many things if this goes all well.
I realised with all the things that happened to me, ive become easily irritated, or too hurried, too anxious. I really gotta learn tolerance and patience.
I will make myself a better person again. Someone I can be proud of again. I want to and will reach my goals. I will see resutls at the end of the long road.
-------------------------
I checked Berklee and Monash Uni's scholarships. Theres really no way that I will be exceptionally gifted as a musician, in their own words, to get in. Scholarships has never been my second name. If it ever is, it'd prob take another twenty yrs.
I really want to study music. I need the basics. Theres no way im gonna be able to write good music without . Shit.
-------------------------
Why is it every book I read, every story remind me of us.
But
with that said, I am very proud of the US today. Nothing is perfect, but working at it is enuff for me. I love you.
------------------------
posted by melissa at 11/01/2006 01:09:00 AM
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