and she dreams again..
The Reality of things.
Reality has been getting to me recently. School is out. On one hand, I was terribly happy. No more tests, no more projects to sloth over when I get home, no more squabbles and disagreements among group members. No more travelling from east to west. I was so happy. But. now where to? WORK. The work force. WHY? Coz i had no idea what course I wanted to take in university. i didn't wana waste my folks's money. Or isit? That was one of the reasons. I wanted to earn my own money. I got sick of having so little and really not being able to get myself the stuff I wanted. I also wanted to become financially independent, so they will stop saying I'm spending their money even , besides living under their roof. But it started off with my f&b job. Par ttime, I worked a few days a week. It was ok at first, quite happy. But then, i started to feel worn out by the physical demands of the job. This waas different from my previous one. This was harder. People in this job...very fake. I started to be late every other time. What the hell is wrong with me. This job i aint earning enough. I know it, coz i have to support myself now. So, I took up another job part time, the tuition job. Not bad, in a week, i got a nice sum for two days of work. but tht used up fast every week. That was still not earning enough together with the f&b job. I realised it was time I needed a full time, proper job.
The tuition centre needed me right now for a month. I took it up, to gain experience, to learn, to see if I really wantd to do this--teach. Ive always wanted to try since a young age, influcned and inspired by my loving teachers who gave me the encouragement and willpower to do well. Only now, i realised how tough it is to be a teacher. I can never be early for work. ive only achieved this twice at most. They start the holiday classes here at 9am. Then it struck me that in poly, I too, have classes at 9am. The poor teachers get to school before that as well. it's work for them. it's absolutely sixna class for us. What did we used to complain about? I bet the teachers hated it just as much. I'm quite pissed with myself. Where's the energy I used to have back in poly? I could juggle work and studies, still scoring averagely like I always did. No difference. I used to be punctual for attachement everyday. if I remember correctly, i woke up myself. That was at novena, mind you. FAR away.
I donne wads happening to me.Donnoe wad course i wana pursue, dunnoe wad job i really wan. This complain too strain, tht complain too early..then saay not sure ...I need a holiday. I need a break. Im breaking down, and my friends who are close to me, are also going through tough times.
Rene for one, has been going through some stuf he doresnt wish to talk about. harri is badly in need of her big break. Joyce is leaving for aussie soon. She's very ill too, im very worried. Dear is having a hard time in army.... im breaking.
The Reality of things.
Reality has been getting to me recently. School is out. On one hand, I was terribly happy. No more tests, no more projects to sloth over when I get home, no more squabbles and disagreements among group members. No more travelling from east to west. I was so happy. But. now where to? WORK. The work force. WHY? Coz i had no idea what course I wanted to take in university. i didn't wana waste my folks's money. Or isit? That was one of the reasons. I wanted to earn my own money. I got sick of having so little and really not being able to get myself the stuff I wanted. I also wanted to become financially independent, so they will stop saying I'm spending their money even , besides living under their roof. But it started off with my f&b job. Par ttime, I worked a few days a week. It was ok at first, quite happy. But then, i started to feel worn out by the physical demands of the job. This waas different from my previous one. This was harder. People in this job...very fake. I started to be late every other time. What the hell is wrong with me. This job i aint earning enough. I know it, coz i have to support myself now. So, I took up another job part time, the tuition job. Not bad, in a week, i got a nice sum for two days of work. but tht used up fast every week. That was still not earning enough together with the f&b job. I realised it was time I needed a full time, proper job.
The tuition centre needed me right now for a month. I took it up, to gain experience, to learn, to see if I really wantd to do this--teach. Ive always wanted to try since a young age, influcned and inspired by my loving teachers who gave me the encouragement and willpower to do well. Only now, i realised how tough it is to be a teacher. I can never be early for work. ive only achieved this twice at most. They start the holiday classes here at 9am. Then it struck me that in poly, I too, have classes at 9am. The poor teachers get to school before that as well. it's work for them. it's absolutely sixna class for us. What did we used to complain about? I bet the teachers hated it just as much. I'm quite pissed with myself. Where's the energy I used to have back in poly? I could juggle work and studies, still scoring averagely like I always did. No difference. I used to be punctual for attachement everyday. if I remember correctly, i woke up myself. That was at novena, mind you. FAR away.
I donne wads happening to me.Donnoe wad course i wana pursue, dunnoe wad job i really wan. This complain too strain, tht complain too early..then saay not sure ...I need a holiday. I need a break. Im breaking down, and my friends who are close to me, are also going through tough times.
Rene for one, has been going through some stuf he doresnt wish to talk about. harri is badly in need of her big break. Joyce is leaving for aussie soon. She's very ill too, im very worried. Dear is having a hard time in army.... im breaking.
posted by melissa at 6/01/2005 01:04:00 PM
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