Thursday, June 02, 2005

and she dreams again...

Realli breaking.

Im realli breaking. There's too much I'm carrying inside of me. I need to let it all out.

More friends are getting stable jobs. More friends are able to afford what i can't. nvm that.

My friends have problems I cant help them with, and I dont know wad its about. They're beginning to act weird, at least verbally. I'm afraid to even say anything...coz..i respect the fact that they dont want me to know and burdne me..but it hurts so much.

Dear is making me cry...i'd already forgotten abt it all...its hurting more and more...its...all coming out.

Today I taught part of the p4, p5, and p6 class. Some of them are lovely. Some of them are absolutely rude and notti. But they are kids after all. Look at them, the more you scold, the more they dont care. Where were those days of ours? The world is cold and cruel. Trying to make sense of this madness, and right now, as I type, only God is willing to listen to me.

I think my depression is kicking in again....I cant take it anymore. Tears are weeling up...whats wrong with me...whats wrong with everyone ard me. My choir friend carol, is feeling very frustrated abt matters at ahnd as well. And she just puts a "WHY" on her msn. SAnd sher reply to me is "everything".

I think its a season, to be UPSET?...maybe i guess. God have mery on us, your children.

2 Comments:

Blogger R said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

12:05 AM  
Blogger R said...

Melmel, it's okay to let your thoughts out, no need to say sorry.. It's normal to feel lousy, but shift quickly. Dont "bash" urself up! I've seen alot of unreasonable, fuk-up teachers.. I thought of being a teacher, Y? coz i hate to see students suffer under such tormenting teachers. "If it's to be, it's up to me" If u want to, u can be a gr8 teacher!!! DOnt give uP!!

12:18 AM  

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