and she dreams again...

- the TASTE of-

(1)...my gosh. CAMPBELL ALPHABET SOUP.

--> I have really forgotten there's such a thing as instant campbell soup in Singapore. The last time I tasted it was more than a month ago. I used to be SO SICK of the "fake-ness" of that branded soup. Now, I miss it termendously. Coz Harri and Simon bought it home tonight. (Simon just got back from malacca this morning, and very unfortunately lost his handphone there. Atuntie has given him her old phone, though. ) Now, Harri fried some delicious bread, coated in egg and butter. She made three packets of that soup, and I was lucky to have some of it, coz I came out and they shared it with me. You see, initially, I wasn't hungry, so i didn't want it. I drank the remianing quarter bowl, and realised I remember loving this soup. I am gonna buy some and put at home tmr. Along with that, comes my longing for alot of night snacks again. So, here's my wish grocery list:

-campbell soup
-cheese
-bowl noodles
-more biscuits
-green tea

I wonder if I should buy this stuff...*looks at my wallet*. I'll see how ya.

(2) Feeling like a **** replacement.

--> Maybe it's just me being more sensitive than usual? I remember korkor and dear mentioned before, this same feeling. When people want you, they come to you, otherwise they don't. Sorry, it's nothing much, just that two close friends have been treating me like this lately, or maybe it's just ME again. or is it smth with GUYS? I hope not. nvm, reality is such? You're just not important enough to people who you feel are important to you. I'm really not being sacarstic. i understand that feeling. We are ALL guilty of such acts. We just don't notice, sometimes.

(3) Getting a job, and rejecting it.

-->Like I mentioned, I declined the offer. i was HIRED actually. But, as desperate as I am for a job, desperation needs DISCRETION still. If i join the team, and end up quitting after a month, i would cause myself and them more trouble. So, wHY go through with it? Unsure, dont agree. Like mum used to say about buying thing. Never wise to jump. I've learnt, and agree it applies to many things in life. So, since I've made those mistakes before, I'm not about to make them again. I guess it really didn't help, that my image of this compnay of clothes isn't as good and strong as my impression of Giordano, who turned me down due to non-disclosed reasons.

SAD it is, strong I must be.

I believe, there must be SOMETHING out there that will come along. i just gotta keep searching. This search is testing my patience, my will to live, my maturity, my perseverance. God is testing me, till he knows i'd had enough. So have I? God, only you know what your plan is. I can only be part of it.

Ren, sorry i didn't mean it that way. I hope you understand.

My wishlist is growing.

-Lappie
-I just want a new handphone
- Zen Neon.
-New clothes
-Accesories ( i see nice earings everywhere, and a realli pretty cap from 77th street )
-Footwear (saw a pair of pretti shoes at far east)
-A new pillow
-Im in love with self help books. haha
-I want a mic and webcam after i get my lappie!
-A CAMERA PLSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

All of which, I will slowly acquire AFTER I get a jobbie and only after saving up. Till then, I WISH. U know, sometimes? it's good to be poor. Just for ONE tiny reason. It makes you value everything much more. You remember, and don't take for granted that you have all these luxuries.

Guess all these things and more, helps a person like me, who just finds it so hard to be satisfied with things. It makes me remember and learn. I am still fortunate, to be blessed, to have a place to sleep, and have people around me who love me.

Thank you Lord, for the events of today and more.

-crying out in silence, can anyone hear me?-

I'm starting to take much more pride in my blog entries these days. i love writing and expressing myself, prefecting my entries. That's good, I guess. Joyce, how r u? Update, please?