and can i really blame him...

What should i do.

Her name are his many passwords. It used to be his comp's password too. He had her in his mind 9/10 mths he was with me.

He lied to me when he met her. We fought abt tht.

He wanted to spend vday with her. I found out abt that.

He always tries to ask her out. I knew abt that.

Her name is in his blog.

Her msgs used to be in his phone.

He still loved her in september.

WHere DID i FUCKING STAND THEN.

But he never treated me badly.

He was always there for me, though he was not quite enthusiastic abt our anniversaries till this month.

I believe him when he says I Love You to me. But he wrote tht to her as well.

I'm really bursting. What am i going to do.

i should believe him, that he is over her. I was over weiyi in July.

But never did I cheat on him. I told him when I went out with weiyi.

He wasn't comfortable with me being close to renren, so we backed off, and became purely good friends.

I made a decision that I wanted to be with him and only him and people around us respected the fact that we were a couple. Even our friends did.

I am good with his family. I spend time with them. He cooks for me. He pays for things at times. We rest in each other's arms, and I feel it couldm not feel any better.

He never complained when I caused him lack of sleep.

But when things got too much, sometimes he just let me be. Afew times I stood at his swimming pool below and thought of drowning myself. He was asleep. Who can i blame. I asked to be alone.

Today, I didn't wana wake, and I really fee;l like taking an overdose of something. Where are we gonna go from here? How can i be sure?

The problems at home are endless. Nonsense and more nonsense. I really don't wana wake tmr.

He said recently Please don't go, I love you, when i was vexed up with everything.

I wonder whether he really will pull thru things with me. Well, he did say he will.

What if she comes back one day, and decides to give it a try. WHat then. I know for a fact, weiyi belongs to stef, and that we'll always be good friends. I won't go that way.

But will he? After all, he loves her so much. Their names look so similar too.

Where do I stand then?

In my family, where do i stand as well? The person who just has to obey, and not really given a position to say anything. I get picked on for everything.

Guess He said he's the loser, and a jinx to people. Maybe I am too, to everyone. I gbring nothing but unhappiness at home. Unhappiness to him as well, even if he insists not.

Dear, where do we go from here? So you just gonna blame yrself, and make me feel, or loook bad abt this whole thing? Happy Anniversary then. I feel you're really not trying hard enough tonight. What if it were her?

I'm screaming. Can anyone hear me.
yet i understand how he feels. Ive been thru that stage of being in not just a triangle but a square before. However, I sorted tht out. And now, I just wana give us my all. You?