hair's very short now. tot i'd feel fresher after the haircut, but my heart still felt as heavy.i dont think i look good honestly. maybe i did, but i felt ugly.

mass at holy fam ws so different. they are so solemn and draggy thru their mass. maybe im not used to it thts all.miss OLPS alot. But still bettert han gg mass alone.

i went to meet christine tonight but it only made me feel worse. i enjoy being with harri alot. she realy perkse up and i feel happier. Maybe coz shes like my best friend. Her plc is the onli comfort i find, but now i think ihave to cut down on overniting at her place too. i dont waa impose until to omuch. its not the same as his plc anymore i guess. All the stay overs, for him.. for us...: ( I tot i cud surf thenet athis plcall this while.. i guess i wont eer see his plc anymore... or his mum for tht matter.

i drank tonite...i was at acid bar listening to this black gurl sing.. she's got fantastic powrful soulful vocals! I was delighted when she sang radiohead's creep and damien rice's blowers' daughter. :P

Harri--thank you very much for yr love and support this week...it has been hard, and i appreciate yr understanding so much.-- it is really cold now. Just so so lonely. i hope i dont ire u out soon. I dont expect yr patience to be as great as his once was... thx dear....

im viewingtwo places tmr. chellehas beenmuch muchmuch help . She really has been helping me find places. even called edwin, and i was quite shocked by his willingness to help me too. thx edo, if ure reading.

jianwei- u must have been thinking of this for so long, for yr heart is so hard now. Im terribly sad. Call me a fool. you're acually not really here anymore isnt it. even as a fren. im not ready for tht, but i think u wana just forget me. u tell me u still love me, but yr decsion to break and yr actions and words, replies, all are not even friendly anymore. over nite u just changed. understand yr reasons, i dont know if i can accept them,but i guess i have to.

I still dont believe this is happening to me. all in a week, my life has changed completely.---and u took what was left away. i dont know anything anymore. Pls pray i get a place in d area soon. My pay will be barely enuff to pay rent, but i can onli follow the wind. im realy really stressed. i really wish ure still here......

am i ready for my new job? lets hope i am....today is sat...i think i feltso uncomfortable tht it wasnt spent the usual way. tr=mr is sunday. its also gonna be entirely different. i still cant go back to choir. too many questionsi wana avoid. ure not here anymore. :(

God keep my friendswith me pls.............

i wana see u again... but yet we shudt... i really blame u.....this hurts far too much. i didnt think tht sunday wheni turned my back, it'd be thelast i'd see u ever again..... i never knew it'd be the last i'deverhold yr hand... ever kiss u...ever...

its so easy for you to say pull myself together...ure certainly not in my shoes....

pple.. i dont know how long i'll be able to sustain myself...freedom? i onli wanted it, forus...now whats the fucking point. u keep encouraging me, but what for, when uve hurtme so much. u cant love and not wana love. perhaps ujust didnt love me enuff. nothing matters now, no matter what i said.

worse come to worse, eiheri end up staying in bukit batok, or punggol. any votes on which is a nicer area? i hope wayne, my boss cofnirmsmy location soon.

gotta keep tellibg myself tht it'll be fine... it'll be fine.......