and she dreams again...

Quite tired, but, I gave myself a well deserved rest today =) I went to watch Choir Boys in the afternoon at cine and then went to bugis to watch Dodgeball after that in the evening with my bro (since he had complimentray tix). Gosh was it nice to step into town, and not be squeexed in the crowds. Very happy. Now quite shack though, but doesnt matter. Back to schl tmr...and so much money to handle...grr

and she dreams again...

yay, I'm cantoring end of the month =)
my chairman is so dedicated he came back from a business trip just to have a meeting earlier tonite. wow. and hes flown off again for business as i type. totally cool.

On other news, I'm VERY proud of my specialist grp. Our paperwork is solid. i love you all soo much. I couldnt haf got a better grp. heck what others say. i love you all.

and she dreams again...

This celever girl decided to roast her skin under the sun with no protection to take photos for her final project for B&W. soo clever. I knew most definitely that i was gonna get burnt and i still did it. so to the folks aka= dun love myself enuff. Actually i wonder how much do i love myself? Sometimes i love myself alot. and some times i dont. this period of time is probably the latter.

I wana go for a holiday. i wana go catch movies. I wana go shopping and go p;ay, but I don't have that kinda time. If it's not work, work, work, it's rest, rest, rest. I'm at a point, the i-dont-get-to-go-out and realli getting to me. I wish, i could go dance my nites away, play my days away. It's this point, i wonder, why am i working soo hard for schl? The only thing is so i'll do well for the year, and leave with time well spent. Actually, I realli don't know. I still don't know what I wana do after this.

Shit. I'm just feeling depressed the last couple of days, moaning myself to sleep, sleeping away, to prevent people from toking to me, no, also, coz im aching all overand i'd stare at my phone, no msgs, no calls, and all i want is to tok to him. fuck my pathethic wants. nikky, if you ever read this gurl, you know what? We're so very alike in this aspect. all us girls. I havent even had time or energy to practise my vocals except on sundays. Can i just sing sing sing and that's my work? I wana just cut clbums. oh great the radio is playing a damn sparstic song.

Hey mel are you ok? Yeah, i'll get thru it, it's part and parcel of life. I'm not always that blady strong. But, hey folks, I prayed realli sincerely again this morning before having tunvh. I know it'll all be alright in the end. so what is this post? ranting, complaining and letting out the cries in me. I need a BREAK.

and she dreams again...

yes, I promise I'll take my time...today it looked like there's still a tiny bit of hope.

work is a bitch hahaha so we dont need ta go into tht. love it just the same.

oh ya, me and my grp mates have decided...fsv people...we're all a bit mad. consenses everyone? hahahaa

and she dreams again...

I dont know what kinda joke this is, but, this isn't fair at all. This isn't fun at all. Someone else came into my life, and like a breeze, blew away. I dont even know where i mite haf gone wrong, it had only just started. And now what, after the silent rejection of the other, suddenly im suppose to fall back isit? i just feakin climbed out of two yrs of that. tis is some sick joke.

and she dreams again...

I...have given it enuff tot...i'd give it a try....after ive decided it can be....thx gurls...

and she dreams again

...feel like terminating this blog...third yr is draining me...love is draining me..i dont know what to make of it anymore.

can i have a holiday pls?

and she dreams again...

Stop playing tricks on my heart lord. Oh...please....i'm confused, and im noit sure exactly what I feel is really correct. Im damn tired rite now, anyway, after a whole week of production. i gtg...i just need to cry out...will YOU be here for me please?

and she dreams again...

Nel, you've been keeping me going for the past week, and I thank God you cam into my life. Thank you, so much..for being so sweet. I'm very proud of you. I really am.

and she dreams again...

I'm not sure what will happen...but I hope for the best....i'm feeling a little better today...but...im not sure abt the unknown....

and she dreams again...

I need a break.
I'm very tired.
I don't even noe if retreat with me organising and some other thing, is the best way i can RETREAT and rest.
I dont know if i will hang onto cantor ministry long. i feel stuck somehow, coz i'm needed so badly, even in choir.
what am i to do?
what do you want me to do?
Lord, what 's gooing on?
i'm feeling tired all of a sudden, with myeslf, with schl, with stuff.

But i know i cant give up. please...come into my heart, more, and guide me, i pray

and she dreams again...


....................................................i feel at a lose...inside me....but as much as i dun haf the modd to work..i still haf to...i guess i'm learning how to cope with personal issues and work seperately now....

and she dreams again...

just been BUSY. sorri. theset wo weeks also prob no time to write. just dun feel like writing either. not becoz nothing happi happens...but...also nothign special..so..nah...oh, maybe there's one..yeah, there is! i bought myself a new stereo systrem for 99!!! =) my gosh..and it works so well!

hehe...one more too...RETREAT!!!! it's coming up this weekend, and possible clubbing too!!! wohoooooooooooooooooo~ ^___^

Gonna get to do my praise and worship session, and the games we've organised..and all the lovely stuffs!

I'd like to say a special THANK YOU and luff you...my sister, mel!! My twin my babe! =) hehee...and i so miss my other sis , angel too...gurls....such darlingZZ

my little bro..hope you dont so sad liaoz k?..=) smileZ!

and..well...i dun haf a love to write abt, and dun wish to anymore..the hurt is too painful..so do excuse me...gd nite.