and she dreams again...

got this from ryan's multiply page...i love it..thanks ryan for sending this to everyone...

MIRROR

How Does it feel like to be incomplete, like there's something missing.
The question brings a silence and everyone finds their reason....
Isn't this how, Isn't this why? Isn't this design what we have complied?
You can loathe over your lack of excuse
,But after the limelight why can't you retire...

I don't know what tomorrow might say, But I'll meet you when we come back again.A hundred voices that cried out to you, will you walk this way again?

What is that mark on your hand, the scar on your face, the cut in your eyes?
Is getting to the end catching up, or are you burdened with life?
A bang on the wall
A leap to the floor,
It's something that we've missed on our way.'
Let's keep to the plan,Don't fall off the plain" It's starting to get to me...

I don't know what tomorrow might say, But I'll meet you when we come back again.A hundred voices that cried out to you, will you walk this way again?

and she dreams again...

I love cartel. : ) Though the work is tiring.!! Im so sorry Mich, that i was late for work today, but you know post office DELAYED ME!!! gomenasai!!! :p

Terry asked me if I can do full time...but because I must have Sundays off for singing class and Chruch and Cantoring for the different masses, I guess not. I hope he gives me more schedule then, and that i get some other part time job I can fix some time in for. I NEED THE MONEY. Im officially broke. U know what the bank term is? yES, its THAT bad. SHIT.

Tmr I have opening shift at 7am, and after Im done at 3om, gotta rush home, bathe and be at bugis to sit in Joyce's class at 6.30, only after we have dinner and run thru what we need to do. OH BOY!!! ;p Should I take the job, shoudl i not? HMMSS.. ehehehe

Alright, i'm hungry, I'm tired, Im off for now. I had such a good swim just now, but I realised these two days, HOW UNFIT I am! That's why always sick!!! My stamina is SO not there man!!

okies..im off...nikky, hope you're olrite...i hope things work out....*huggs* babe....im here if u need me...

The weekend is here....thts fast.......Guess I'l be spemnding more time at home now..since Im dead broke. BUT I WAN TO GO SUSHI BUFFET shirin alex and angel!!!!!! HEEEEEEEEEE....

and she dreams again...

here...very painful....when i think of the actions thts gonna happen...i cry....

and she dreams again...


today, i became 30 dollars broker, though theres no such word. and whats left is prob the same amount. which worries me to hell. BUT.

STILL. TODAY WAS FUN. i planned for a 14 people outing. i got seven in the day. another four at nite. I guess i shld be happy then? yeap.

MARINA BAY is rather quiet and over priced...but hell la, nvm. its away...away from the city..away from all that nonsense i dont wana deal with.

Thanks Harri, Simon, Shirin, Alex, Rene, Angel, Meliza, Cheryl, Yunwen, Joyce, for making my day happy. Ive missed all of you, and it was indeed great catching up with all of you and hanging out.

Pls include me for sushi buffet shirin and alex! hee...since angel has said she doesnt mind treating me first! YUPEEEES! hahaha...

theres some stuff i wana blog, but i shall just leave it inside. Not all things are meant to be on public domain. Doing this is already quite public. NITEZ.

tmr, i must wake early, practise songs, do specs press kit. hope to meet with specs grp next tues.

out.

and she dreams again...

I realli like this new layout...im SMART! i figured out my little side bar problem...AGAIN. ahahahahaa....


.............sigh.


cartel job has been fine. OMG. mich kwok is back in my life...as...my colleague now! WOW. God, thanks..for giving us a second chane at being friends. I asked u before, but i never expected it in tht way!. gee...happy and weird at the same time I guess. WEIRD. realli.

jobs jobs jobs. WHY WHY the JOBS..haizzzzzzzzzzzz wana PLAYYY, go holidays, spend money like everyone else in FSV does...BUTTT noo, cannot. i dont have money given to me just like that. Im dead broke, and tryingt o survive, so have to work. SHeesh. everyone is still enjoying man.

alrite..seems im gonna become a teacher. HAHAHA. mee teacher? well welll...i dont believe it myself.

...and im so sorry...i cant..........(and..she drfits off..words unable to be spoken..)

and she dreams again...

im not sure what to blog.

coz im not sure what to say, or how to say it.

im just praying God helps me out, gives me a smoother ride, and somehow makes me decide the right things he wants me to decide. JOBS. ME. CHURCH. us. them.

my job is very tiring. its alot harder than pizza hut. i wonder what will happen, if i went to the hotel and worked instead. i wonder what will happen if i worked in giordano. I DUNNOE.

how have i been? OK LOH. life is getting a bit dead again, but i hope my new band, new job and demo preparations will make it exciting again.

i feel lost. again. but not tht lost at least.

im just sad, tht the jobs tht i do, be it f&b, retail, or worse lets say production...or radio if i EVEN get it...will always clash with my weekend commitments. am i forced to take up a 9-5 job, just sos tht my many church metings, sundays and satursdays wil be free for my commitments? BUT I HATE 9-5's ven though they pay better.

now i have to take my singing claases on SUNDAYS. great. im still trying to remember that. I HAVE SINGING CLASS TMR. i keep forgetting!!!! I KEEP THINKING im gonna sleep in tmr. SHIT.

and she dreams again...

No work today. Started the day by meeting Joyce and Harri for lunch. Called Weiyi but he couldnt wake up. Rene having fever today. Lunch was FUN!! Thanks Joyce, for yr sweet, lovely bubbliness. hahahahaaaa. Even Harri found her cute! She's adorable!! : ) kawaii ne, joyce-chan!
So nice...my good friends, all getting to know each other! Started off with dear getting to know angel and mel...and godbro too....then harri got to know rene...and harri got to know joyce today...hahahaa....my world of friends love each other. it's all sweet. Cheryl got to know weiyi and jared thru me and mel tht day..hahahahahaha....harri got to know weiyi..hahahaa....and soon rene will know joyce..and jill got to know simon , harri, rene...and still waiting to meet dear!!!!! and rene got to know alex tht day hahahaDEAR IS IN CAMP. ....he's coming out in TWO DAYS!!!! ; ) I cant take it any longer! i miss him...

after lnch, joyce went back to work. Im still deciding whether i realli shld meet her boss. Dear and nick told me to forget abt this tuition job, so for now, i think i'll just leave it as it is...mmm...so we went to suntec to check out tower records vancancy for jobs. But, they onli wan full timers...so harri got no chance....after tht i went to develop my photos...and we headed down to her friends place for project....i had a nice nap..but suffered from a sever headahce the whole day....we went to have dinner with simon at ps..but i didnt wana stay anymore...headed home, but dropped by to see how rene was doing. he's much better now : )

HAIZ. im feeling a lil sad all of a sudden. mayeb coz im tired and sleepy...but...everyone's leaving. Dear is in camp..i see him once a week. harri told me today, that if its not NAFA, it's australia.....joyce is heading back to texas....za said if not SIM, it's aussie as well.....rene's gonna disappear with his leadership course, and ns soon...weiyi is going in too...jun hua also...and quite a few more of my friends...what the.......im scared....no more friends to hang with...no more buddies to cry to, chat to, have fun wif...ive become so accustomed to having them ard me so much....and they're all leaving me soon...just barely a month or so. i wish for selfish reasons they could stay....but HOW can i. They need to pursure what they need to pursue.

i dont know.....only heaven knows

and she dreams again...

First day at work. =)
I'm really tired, but I'm happy. Work was good. The boss is nice, and the people there are nice. I can see they make an effort to make u feel welcomed, and comfortable, and that you, being a new staff matter.
Im happy with work.

at macs..obviously 

sheesh...nice..ahaha...except SHAKE! blurred...but cant blame my friend la..hahaa 

KEWL RITE!!!! hahaha 

heheh taken on fri nite... 

and at raffles hotel...after the anniv... 

me...at sam's cousin's wedding anniv.. 

and she dreams again...

gd nitess...enjoy photos...

and she dreams again...

MIA...sorri..ahahahahahha

wah..last few days have been madness. been out most of the day! OKAY! let's recall....after rene's graduation on thursday...fri went to schl for SPECIALISTs screening. i am SO PROUD OF MY COHORT. Mod a and Mod b did well. HONESTLY. Even our seniors said so. the standard has improved a heap, and I felt evey film and vid was worth watching for some reason or another. NOT like previous batches..where some were honestly crap. Coz u could see they knew nuts about what they were doing.

Mrs Choo, our HOD said in her email, that she's very proud of us, and that the standard has improved. She told her nice news, like tmr, I can go collect the production files. : ) YAY. *__^ She told us, Graduation day is 15th JULY!!!!!! : ) She told us, Graduation is coming ard soon...being organised by chua, raihan and some others like farah.

OK! next! (excited alreadi) hahahaha...Olrite...last fri, after screening, i rushed down to weiyi's prom nite. I helped to be photographer and videotographer. That night was really fun. mad too. haha... Got home late, damn tired. Nvm..Saturday, baby came out EARLY!!!! ; ) Yay, so I got up and spend the entire day with him...went to town, and had such a sweeet time wif him. i was realli happy tht day. : ) Next, we met some of huis bunk mates, and sat in Linus's car. madness. haha. That guy is a car freak!. Haha..nice friend dear has got. ;p

Sunday, had to be in church early for confirmation mass. Julie gurl and Justin my gorbo got confirmed!!! AWWWWWWWW *huggs*. Gosh, they grew up so fast! Juls chose kristen as her confirmation name...and justin...heh i cant quite remember! hehehe nvm!
I STILL couldnt sing, and still cant up to now btw! So, I became a BASS that day wahahah. You shld have heard me sing man. That was HILARIOUS! hehehehehe
Okies. Then, had din din with Lisa jie and bunch. We ae at the prata stall in frankel and proceeded to cheesecake cafe for dessert. : ) . Randall sent me back wqith jared..so yay...pays to stay opp them wahahahahaha. *wad onli*.

Monday and Today!!! WAH. where to begin!!! Crazy two days at a packaging job Chrstine offered me. THANKS LOADS CHRIS!. She used to be with me in B&W class. he knew I wasnted jobs badly so got me this. happy. Got paid liao. hahaha. XIAO eh. u all shld try sia. Packing thousand and thousands of bags!!!. Weyi needed a job too, so called him along..then Harriet came alone today, coz we needed one more person. : ) SO SLEEPY!. zzzz...hahaha...and finally go5t to tok to dear just now! Poor dear is working so hard also!.

OKIES. TMR, i starts work! hEh. excited leh. I hope it all goes well leh...a bit scared...heard some stuff...but...PRAY and it'll be fine...

shld i go take tuition teacher job? dunnoe if i shld...coz my choir friend joyce is working as that in a tuition centre in bugis..teaching pri schl english...shld i? nick says i cant teach...im not sure...i was keen coz no job..but now have job...
hmmms hmms how how...? some feedback pls? opinions? aghhs...

neways! harri also gonna get a job..hopefully..either at music shop in parkway..or tower...hope she gets...wish i could try!!!....

wah..must cool down..soo excited today....now...what else...mmm...haha i was gonna write smth and i cant remember anymore! ahhaha./..NBM! hee....so wanyways..grad day...grad showcase...goo project..happy...OHH fsv pub nite this fri! yeahh./.not sure if im going yet leh..hehe/..then..tmr collect files...then..starting work tmr..wana go develop film tmr..then err..what else...mm..HHAA.., dunnoe..just happy la k! heh :p

OH YES. HAPPY BIRTHDAY VICKI. ; )

okies..going off now...

and she dreams again...

YAY YAY YAY!!! my friend just offered me a chance to record one of thier self penned songs and it may go into thier album!! YAYYYYYY its ballad! and i can use it as my demo too! WHOAHOOOO! : ) im so damn hapy. NOW must get back voice!

and please note...for links..i have added besides my own friendster link, my bro's juliana's amd zhi cao's...welcome to d famillyyyyy hahahah BYEBYE

and she dreams again...

-RENE'S Graduation--the asia work's course- and TODAY.

Today...went to cafe cartel and video ez to apply for jobs...i think out of all the jobs i got..hopefully can get one....if not, i'll head down to town to apply liao..im sad..tht of coz, i realli donnoe what kinda "proper" job i can do. by this i mean with relation to my diploma. BUT. i realli dont wana do production anymore. I like acting, anyone dare to try me? I WANT TO SING. so i will try my utmost to keep pursuing it...im presently looking thru songs..gonna start compiling..voice is coming back gradually...will take this time to choose songs. gonna record my demos and get sam to help me send them out to his contacts.... REALLI hope i get either job..i leave it to God..to decide what he wants for me... i just praying..Lord, please give me a job soon...cvoz im running low..and owe money to a friend.... and also wana start my piano again...and after tht guitar...then must save enough money..to suport myself ..and all tht....

rene's graduation ceremony was quite fun!. Besides him getting the cert, his i dont know what to call him..the guy in charge of the course....made us do little exercises..like go ard the room and intro yrself as...the character you like the most : eg i am stefanie sun, nice to meet u....haha...and like chooe another person and share with the person what are yr immediate goals..what is holding you back etc....Basically, it is for working people, or people from the age of 18 onwards, to see what is working in yr life, and what is not. i think i realli need to do smth abt my life. my discipline problem has been bugging me my whole life. since sec schl esp. it affects my responsibility..or is it the other way round?

hmm..anything...i'll take what comes..juggle my life...time to learn some time management..a bit late..but if i wana do the things i wana do, i better start learning this fast.

soo..anyways..after we collected his cert, we went to great world city to eat. MY GAWD. its my first time there!!!! hahahhaaa... finally go to the ohh-soo talked-about- greatworld city!. hahahahahahaha....geesh feel like suaaakuuu hahaha

YAY!! tonite i have OFFICIALLY finished loading ALLLLLLLLL my cds into my computer system!! WOHOOOO!!!!! please, CONGRATULATE ME. ever since my comp crashed, and i died at the funeral of it aka being reformatted *OHMYGAWD* *heartpain* seriously..it was terrible..i have finally, after FOUR MONTHS of agnonisingly removing stack after stack of cds from my room....(coz i put them on my floor, to slowly load them into my comp), im DONE. WOW. the feeling is SUPERB. now, for me to quickly get it onto a data disc or smth..........MUST. hahaha...

okies..tmr BIG DAY. screening of SPECIALIST projects! . my LAST day in school. REALLI.
plus...going to weiyi's prom tmr nite...im his photographer....so shall take and be GONE...haha otherwise soo extra man!!!

HAIZ....dear didnt call tonite...miss him man....think coz he knew i was at renes thing...tot maybe i cannot answer...nvm..hope he calls...on sat or smth....gtg now..BYEEE

BTW...dear...im gonna try my very best..to be more disciplined from now on..u'll see....

and fianlllyyy... a pic of harri's dearest simon..=) he's such a funny guy. 

ME AND HARRIET!!!!  

harri took this..hahaa..looks...i dunnoe...you decide... 

me! at lido...stoned totally.. 

me new shoes!! 

hahaha! DEAR..looking all shy..and happy..coz i was taking this pic with hari... 

dear and me....taken by d best harriet d photogrpaher!! at ECP Food Village... 

and she dreams again...

-LIGHTER- : )

I feel much happier now. A Load has been taken off. From my worries and problems. Suddenly..it all looks better. What was to me, the end of the world yesterday, seems to be all olrite again. =)

-school is done. project handed up. screening this fri, ngee ann poly, blk 68D, 1-5pm. Pls come support me! hehe...
- can now find jobs!!! MUST. asap! (however, i lost my voice..hope end of this week can)
- I can now record my demos!! been delaying so long! ( but again, my voice is gone)
- I can also record a voice demo and send to radio station! (my voice...agh...)
- i have cleared the "doubts" between me and dear...: ) ULTRA HAPPY.
- I said sorri to my parents...=) Now we are talking!!!!!!! ; )
- I am working on my resume now..and finding jobs. yay, shall apply soon! ( need my voice back!)
-waiting to go schl and get the dvds done for my grp, chris, my talents, and i'm realli done then!
-after earning, then i can get stuffsssssssssss : )))

I'm suddenly happier. from the lost me yesterday. amazing. just coz..i cleared my family prob. well, not exactly, but at least its a start. =) And, me and dear. ;p

There's sooo mcuh i wana get done!!! LET me have my voice back, PLEEASE : ) hehehe...
: -)

dear, thank you for calling. i love you. AND STOP LAUGHING AT my VOICE!! *wails* hahahaha

and she dreams again...

anyone knows if friendster blog can put tagboard? can brek into their html? hahaa....if not..i cant decide which blog to use...
i think i'll stick to this one more.....whatever i write on either one..i'll just choose which to write what on...

these were my last two entries on my friendster blog..you can go see..i have the link there...

i wana say thank you, to some friends...who've been keeping me sane...online, offline, outside, sms, everything. Thank you Rene, for realli being here for me. Thank you Harri, for all the photos, for always cheering me up with yr new found dearest simon...Thank you Fendi, for being here whenever i need you to. Thank you Sean, dear Sean, for being so sweet always. Thank you to my choir members..esp my buddies, (bris and sistas), but most of all weiyi...coz he and i..or ratheryou and i have been thru alot for all our singing stincts in and outside of church....thank you...mel..my dearest sis..my best friend...my confidant..my lovely girl..for everyything..since the age of 13....thank you jilly..for asking me to call when i wanted to scream so loud and cry....thank you cheryl, my baboon..for yr whackiness..for yr love for me..."love" of coz...i REALLI appreciate it....thank you...to so many pple..who realli love me..thank you....
not forgetting two pple...my dear..jw...when you come back home, and read this..it mite be so long after you realise tht things here are bad for me. But i realli dont wan to upset you. im at my witd end. i cant atke ti anymore. i wana cry out so loud, i realli want out. no, i doubt you'll get to meet my side..coz its...not gonna happen. being with me is onli gonna make you feel sadder. i leave it to you.i love you. thank you for everything.
wait..thts all...yes..no one else...coz i just wnaa be myself, i just wana do my own things..i...pls..stop bugging me.
who did i wana thank? my bro perhaps...but...i wish..you could understand me better...
Posted by -MeLiSsA- Liaw Permalink Comments (0)
Need to run on the beach, breathe fresh air, be away, and calm down. Life is driving me crazy. I'm finding it very hard to go on. Scool is just about over. I need a job, everything is in the pits, i only have him, my friends and church to hold onto. I'm honestl;y lost now, and very sad inside. But i cant tell him. I musnt, or else he will be sad. I stopped blogging on my public blog, and now FRIENDTSER comes out with a blog system. WHAT TOOK YOU GUYS SO DAMN LONG. if you had this from the beginning, i wouldnt have had the need for a public blog tht i had to MAKE myself. multiply was up, and all the many other forums tht allowed blogs with photos, and things friendster could have had. JUST WHAT TOOK SO LONG. blogger and many similar sites were up donkey years ago.
gosh. THIS IS COOL. but, WHAT AM I TO DO when i has just stopped using multiply a couple months ago, and NOW, then you guys have this. even my friend moved to multiply to write. gosh. i'd rather stick to my public domain. I DONNOE see how la. im damn hungry now. gonna eat la.
Posted by -MeLiSsA- Liaw Permalink Comments (0)


so anyways...today...i think i realli hurt dear...im very very sorry...i kept crying...angry at myself..hurt at what i did...and just so tired alreadi...confused and sad....but even after i said all those things...he still cared...still stroked my hands..my head...still gave me his shoulder to cry..even if hes angry or sad with me..he didnt show it...i felt terrible........and it was painful seeing the way he coughed....

and she dreams again...

im very sad. but i'll try to be happy.

this is my new blog on friendster. it took them so DAMN long to have one . agh.

i will link it. bye.

cheryl...thanks.

http://singing_forever.blogs.friendster.com/my_blog/

and she dreams again...

i realli wan out.