and she dreams again...-UPDATES-Yea, what a lame title. I don't know what to title this entry. I don't know where to start first. I'll just randomly write out what's been happening. The job is getting stale for me. I like my bosses much, but the hours are eating into church time as well, and I dont like it. Tmr gonna check out a place. See iof I can work there. Next, my ears are infected. I have to stop using my ear rings. aka i am just gonna let them close. ear rings are nice, but in exchange for beauty, i have to put up with pain and extra problems. i don't need that. realli.trying to find the freaking time to find a place to rent. pay coming soon. i wana take it take it. Damn, gotta pay off debts and bills. Not fun at all. Find a place to rent, and realli gotta start calculating how much i need to save. I miss home, but know i shldnt go back. haiz.i have the urge to go back to studying. I need to know what I wana study. I need to have the money to study. I need to make sure i realli wana study.I feel liek finishing piano. I question myself what i'm gonna do after finishing piano. i dont have a proper answer. its an urge.Tmr off, FINALLY. Gopnna meet weiyi for lunch, check out job, and head down to centrue for our cd recording for ashley's wedding.thurs cantor meeting in church. Coz of work, have to be late. fri i wana go youth mass prac after work. again, will be late.sat- youth mass is at 8pm. STILL no choice, have to be late.sun, 12 noon, renay's : sandwhich making. 2pm cantor tea party for new recruited members. 4pm, choir prac. what a day.next mon back to teaching tht weird nice chincese lady in the morning before work.I need time to iron. I need time to get down to preparing the songs for amelia's and our gig.living in singapore is hectic.surviving in singapore can be problematic.being a singaporean surviving in singapore need slogic. hahaaaaa
and she dreams again...-An entry before bed-I'm about to head to sleep, and I'm awfully tired. haha. :) Thank goodness I wrote my blog post on paper today, like much earlier in the afternoon. So, all I have to do now, is coipy and type it out. _entry_ I arranged to meet up with Renren again for lunch today, and decided to eat at Heeren. I was telling him I miss the wan tan mee there. It's quite convenient for us both now, since we're both usually in Orchard these days due to school (for him) and work (for me). Soi I'll wait for him to finish school and have lunch with him around 340 odd. Heh, but I left work earlier todayand had a longer lunch break, AND! nearly kena found out sia! WOOOO *sweatdrop*. SO! anyway! I walked to Heeren, and because I had some time, i started to detour into all the little shops in the ANNEX. YEAH! :P *grinz* AH! I ended up buying a pair of shimmery, dangly,lovely star shaped earrings *winks*Oh man..heh heh...*(nick is gonna start nagging liaoz). "save, save, save" he says! HEEE. Okie Okie..I gotcha! SO! i continued window shopping and found myself staring at two lovely watches! WHEEEE. But NO, I know my limits for now! : ) RESIST, resist, rEsIsT mel!! HAHAHA.=] I walked out of the shop, happily grinning to myself :P I was so delighted to see those watches, and I was just so happy window shopping! ANNEX is eye candy! A feast for the eyes of a deprived shopoholic! HEH wahaha! I also saw a super duper adorable hippo soft toy! Small, palm size, lite green coloured one....eeheeeAiyo! so cute leh!~ I was real happy during my lunch hour. WeIrD! jUST shopping..hheee...see how magical a lunch break can be for a working person..haha...just shopping and meeting a friend for lunch makes melmel happy. hahahaaaa...im mad..hahaa...i saw sweet design t-shirt blouse too, while I was on my way to Heeren. It said " Life Isn't Easy" . (whoa) Pink, baby pink, lime green, faded blue and lite blue were the colours. It's very voicky kinda blouse. You get d idea. :p I really liked it---but MONEY!! grr. Must know how to control. Yea. whee---and did i tell you how nice i look in my new pink cap?? Renren bought it for me for my bday prez! YAY!! wow--harri rememberedd I liked it and then renren remembered..heh...but it was a delayed prez, and i seriously wasn't expecting it. I tot he wasn't gonna give, and it would have been perfectly fine with me, coz his company was more than enought these few days. Recap of b-day gifts!:dad/mum/- ang baogodma/godpa/- ang bao-shaun/jus/janice- ang bao/ duckie photo framemeliza/teresa/stef and weiyi - shirt from ZARA. *wah wah wah*nick- green tea cake, butterfly necklace *wooor*harri/ Uncle marl/ Auntie Constance - a silver bracelet with three hearts attached. *awww*renren- pink 77th st cap! :)YAY! hee so happy!And so, i spoilt myself and bought a new watch AGAIN! HEH, Bought my funky watch yesterday..and nowadays, there are so many shops selling very very nice wacthes for 10 dollars or less. This one i bought costs just 1.90 more than the last one i bought, but the materials are so much better quality! I love it!!Now, must wait for pay before can send. I will pay off debts and whatever first like bills, then keep money for the month, and then buy a little this and thats. HEH, but slowly. YEA RITE, MEL. Heee...I think I'm crazy about watches now. Also, ear rings, provided they stop hurting so much!!! WHEEEEZ Now you know what you can get melmel that will never go wrong -- accesories! YES YES! ^__^kies..gtg...very tired...CHAO!
and she dreams again...-FOCUS-FOCUS is what I lack right now, in maybe, just about everything I do. -work (working just for the money, instead of savouring how much I love the job and should meet up to expectations and do it well. Distracted by the need to work only, which is wrong and will bring me nowhere. )-choir ( Not focuszed enough to lead with maturity, with a clear mind, with the qualities of a leader, with the level headedness required of a leader))-myself (what i realli wana do, who i realli wana be, should be and have to be, what I have been called onto this earth to be)-us ( We are strong, and sweet, but God isn't giving me clear signs at all..but the feeling....isnt...quite right...God is missing, very much in us, ouyr strength that we have formed over the months)-but, most of all, GOD. My serving GOD. aka. MY FAITH. it's all ghone, somewhere long time ago, and after speaking with tammy these few days, I have a strong urge to get it back. Things are all outta place for me. What am i doing? Being a sinner, towards the one father, the amazing God who loves me more than I can think. The God who knows my every move yesterday, tmr, and the day after. The God who has plans for me, and loves me even though I have distant myself from him, because I have sinned over and over again. I am dirty. I am unworthy, and I am sad about it. I don't pray sincerely anymore. My faith has been dry for ages.I don't remember when was the last time I confessed my sins to God through the sacrement of reconciliation or confession. I have lost tht feeling of prayer...that special friendship with God. Firstly, I have left the family he gave to me. Secondly, I have a job i'm so new to, and like a baby, the bosses are expecting me to run by next month already. I must say that's an honour, and are expectations I'm not sure I can meet up to. But why am i afraid? Coz somehow I can't concentrate on work fully. What am i distracted by? That I need to settle down elsewhere. It will be a difficult road ahead, and I must learn how to live with strength. I am also distracted that I am not the leader enuff to lead my people and have them look up to me. Everything in my life is now really forcing me to grow up. Smth I yearned for years, and now wish I have nothing to do with.The feeling of this all is overwhelming. To add on, I feel i'm causing myself to be distant from my dear God, because I keep sinning. My irresponsibility, to everything I take to, be it decisions, being punctual, sleeping time, simple things like that, or prioritising church over dinners and other wants to go outwhich should be second. My ill discipline, which transcends thru everything. My heck-care attitude. All this, has distant me from God, but he loves me all the same. But I am distant-ing myself. I have been sinning. Even in my own relationship, i prioritise it over my God, which shouldn't be the case. I'm sorry lord.FOCUS. I need to find it all back. Even if I stay alone, and keep good terms with my family, I still need to get everything onto the right track. it is a major test God is giving me. I must take it and pass.Forgive me Lord.
and she dreams again...-HAPPY BERFDAY TO ME!!!!- ahha...technically, it was over three hrs ago. LOL. Thanks all who were part of my special day. : ) It is also a cry otu to my dear " Happy Anniversary!" . He couldn't be with me today, as the army was fucked up. hahaa. OMG , did i say that? SHHH... No la, it's olrite, what to do, such is life, yes? Neway, after all my hype about wanting ear rings, i got none. LOL. What an irony. But, come to think about it, I'd rather buy my own!. I pulled out the first pair today, and excuse me! It was painful! Hurt you noe! heh heh. now i have a dangly pair on. However, not too dangly, my dearies. With that, I've learnt especially recently, that everything comes with a price. This PRICE is normally terribly HIGH. This is probably D MOST important thing I wana say in this entry tonight. it is late, but i have to update. I MUST. Made a mistake at work a few days ago, and have learnt from it. it's just so important to show respect. Thank my boss for a nice doggie handbag. After feeling awfully down that day, i felt alright the next day! talk about hormonal imbalance. It has led to me having some weird shit happening to my body lately. ..... darn..... That"next day", I closed two sales, and broight in 200+ bucks to the shop. PLUS. I was happily chatting away...hahaa on the phone, most of the day..with random people like angel, stef and her dearest, just about anybody..to pass time while i made cards. I also use my radio quite alot now...but i must say, my phone is realli giving way!!NEWAYS, yesterday, godma and i celebrated our birthdays at her place, over a very delicious dinner and many many guests. I was a little overwhelmed, as I wasn't expecting, or rather, forgot that i was gonna see that many people. I was asked to sing for everyone in the room, impromptu. I was nervous. ; ) However, with that average performance, theyt liked it anyway. =) Sat, will be better. I received some angbao, from godma, mum, and shaun+janice. Mum's car kena clamp opp godma's man! SHEESH! dad wasn't feeling well, but he's much better now. For that, I'm relieved. i was so disappointed when I found out dear couldn't make it today. Topid..........hahaa...but I met rene for coffee at ana's outlet, and it was nice. I realli haven had time alone with him in a long while. It was great to hang with him again, and we bought food for the dinner i organised for my sops later. That dinner was at Tammy's earlier this evening, and I had a lovely time. She has a gorgeous looking house. Very batam style, resort, big, and lovely. Nonetheless, dinner went on, and I gave vocal calss ( i hope it was fine).Meliza, combined with yunwen, stef and weiyi, got me a shirt....very sweet..but gotta chabge the size...my FIRST EVER zara shirt!!!!!!!!!!=) HEE. Nick bought me my fav green tea ice cream cake...awww*thanks kor*, and bought me a very very sweet necklace!!! :P Auntie Constance and family bought me a bracelet, that fits my curreent pair of ear rings...hee...ut also gotta change size. Though most of my friends didn't give me presents, I realli appreciated just being with them on my bday. I still felt smth missing, and it was dear. But, nvm. :d I know he feels worse, not being able to be with me today. Im now beack home, bathed, tired, and still up. Dont know why im not all tht happy, but, life must go on. I have to be strong for upcoming stuff...so work is on again tmr. Must prepare for sat as well....I sold my panasonic phone today..got some..heee...k..shld go now... btw, renren, congrats on yr new schl and all. Happy to see u happy...Joyce..thanks for calling todasy, my love...i realli missed you...and was superb to hear from you again....thts all folks....
and she dreams again...- My Letter to God-Dear Lord,So much has happened over the last three months. I've had ups and downs, and I know you've seent hem all, and been with me throughout. You continue to guide me as I prayed for, and still watch over me during the happy days, tiring days, lonely times, and stressful moments. Dear Lord, I know you're testing us for eternal life. My presence on earth, is a test, to prepare me for your kingdom. But, Lord, sometimes these trials, come too many at a time. I can't breathe. Yet, I know you never give me something too much for me to handle, coz you love me, and will not give me more than I can handle.Dear Lord, today has proven to be one of my harder days, amongst my happier days these few weeks. I know you have a reason for this as well. There is always a reason. It's all part of your plan, Lord. Thank you Lord, for the blessings you've showered upon me: My lovely job, Harriet and family who have been taking care of me, my bro who has never ever once not been there for me; my boyfriend, who has shown me untiring love..and most of all, now, my parents, who I met up with on sat and tonite, and we are talking. It meant so much to me Lord. You answered my prayers and worries that i'd never get to talk to them again. Thank you, so much Lord.I really wanted this. To be able to still call mum and dad, ask after them, talk and smile at them, and be there for them when they need me. For I have not once forgotten where my roots lie, despite our differences. I had a good time with dear yesterday, Lord. Though I work 6 days a week, and it isn't even a very tiring job, I already feel tired by it.I know it's your way of telling me Lord, that nothing comes easy, and even though I love my job,I am still learning, and trying to be mentally stronger, in order to work 6 days a week.Iit is trying. I will persist, as I know you gave me this job, and that I really have to try hard and work hard at it. Dear was sweet to me, even though it was late at night already, and he was tired himself. Lord, I wsh one day he'll see your goodness. I can only pray. I will never ever though, push him and ask him ..because i believe that if he really wants to, he will come to you. I'm happy Lord, that you gave him to me..to love, to be loved by, to care for, and to show, my commitment to you Lord. He not stopping me from believing in you Lord, is something I greatly appreciate. However, Lord..today you decided to test me again, and got me thinking again about so many things. I guess it is your way, to keep me in check. Sam seow scolded me today, and I knew I made you angry Lord. How could i be so slip-short at doing my duty for you Lord. I promise, to give you 102 percent. I will make up, for all the times I didn't prioritise you Lord. I'm sorry. Forgive me pls. Today, after thinking so much about what Sam said to me, I found out dad was sent to hospital. It really ached me, as dear's dad and grandpa are in hospital, and you just took amelia's grandma to heaven with you Lord. Angie's mother-in-law as well. Too much of this, Lord...I found it hard to swallow. I pray you keep dad healthy and safe. Pls give him a break if he needs. Thank you , Lord, for bro. Kor. He truly is my guiding light, my stead fast pillar, strength that is alwasy ready to be there for me. Ive come to realise, I really can't do without him. BUT i also know I cannot be too dependent on him. That is how kor teaches me, to learn , to grow up, to be dependent, yet independent enough. I've learnt a fair bit these few months out on my own. I've learnt how to treasure many more things, people, time, money, jobs, on a huge scale. But, now Lord, you're putting me to the test again. A bigger test, now that i have gotten comfortable with this one. ----finding another place to stay, and fighting my conflicting feelings about renting, and home itself. I know too well, the goodness and comforts of home.. However, I remember clearly now why i don't want to live under my family's roof anymore. it will spoil me again, and it will bring back all the bitterness again. So, now, i have to find a place, and ensure i keep this job stable, in order to survive. Ive no idea how much i spend a month. And the uncertainty of the job frightens me, esp if I'll be staying alone. However, I know that these worries are "duo yu de". You will help me Lord, somehow. Please, I ask of you, be merciful, take away my burdens, lighten them even more, teach me, let me learn, let me grow up, be stronger emotionally, and mentally especially. coz I need to be an adult. I need to realise what i need to do, in order to have things in the right places again. Just when I was getting adjusted completely, Lord,..you're sending me on another task. I don't know whether i'll be able to pull it off, but i know I HAVE TO. That is the price I pay, for wanting certain things. I've come to realise, no matter what your choices and decisions are, everything has a very high price to pay. It may not be literally a price, but the non-material price, is sometimes much harder, tougher, and painful to learn. But that is life. You made it such, Lord. I have to adapt, and learn, and stand up on my own two feet and always try to be stronger than ever. But thru all this, I ask you Lord, to help me if I crumble and fall ever so often.-Come to the father, though your gift is small. Broken hearts, broken lives, he will take them all. The power of the word, the power of his love. Everything was done, so you would come.--pray for my dad, please watch over and keep him safe, Lord. -pray for dear...for his discovery in you, and for me and him...you've put us thru so much...what exactly is it Lord? Will we get thru everything?-pray for my choir, my section, and my leadership towards them. For the heads of the choir.-pray for everyone, that the Lord will lift whatever bvurdens anyone may have.-pray, that amongst all this Lord...we have you.
and she dreams again...-mel loves sleep-just very tired. Been having cramps last two days...took mc today, but boss very nice about it. I guess i'm still adjusting to the working world. It realli takes everything away from you. I admire dear a little. He has never very much complained about work. Talking about him, I seem to miss him terribly now. I hate being away from him. It gets so hard...Ive been sleeping at home today, and got up, decided to get up, eat and come online, get some stuff done. Godma's anniv dinner is nearing..and suddenly i have two new songs to learn. It's so rush, but at least not as bad as kor. he has in total I dont know how many songs. I'm singing three, he's singing four, dad's singing one, and shaun i think is playing for all the songs. This stupid nose of mine is BLOCKED. forever man. As long as my vocals stay intact and good, that's fine by me. I'm glad it didn't affect me last sat. Weiyi and I sang for the Holland couple during their wedding mass. Since we sang duet for sammie's cousin's wedding, every couple has been asking us to sing the prayer for them. It's a pretty demanding song for both of us, what more in the early part of the day. However, I managed to warm up my vocals, and when we sang it during the wedding mass, it was the best version the both of us have ever done (albeit us standing on chairs to reach the mics). Haha, I found out that weiyi and stef have been together for more than a week now. FINALLY! What took them so long *grin* . Stef and i ok liao..it was my bad, really. They are really sweet together. So happy for them. i think they are both very lucky to have each other.But who could bt luckier than me?? :) HAHAHAH. *thick skin*. While I spent sat nite to sun at dear's place, though i was sick, he was still so sweet and all...esp when we were just stoning watching tv...I think we shared some lovely moments there... :) I miss him..oh crap mel...hahaakk...shall go now..lots to do..little time...
and she dreams again...Before, After, and Now.HEYa! Another day at work. I'm loving it more and more each day! :) My bosses are really nice, but now I constantly remember what Ms Ye tauight me: Be friendly, yes, be chatty, yes, but even if your boss IS so to you, NEVER cross that line. My bosses are really nice, like I just mentioned, but I do sense a distance (I mean, of coz that's expected) between us. She is nice to me and all, but she presents herself to me well enough for me to know that she is sincere, willing to help me, cares alot for my welfare, yet reminds me unconciously that I'm her employee. This sorta boss, always deserves the THUMBS up!The renovation works took place today, and all the furnishings and stock are in. We ate ready to blow all you art lovers' minds away! I'm not kidding. We are called "K"rafers' Paradise for a reason,man. We have everything. I'm talking about the materials you'd need to make your own cards, and do crazy things with these materials. If you're creative, our products could send you ccoming back for more, and maybe even yearn to buy everything up! Yeap You would wana buy EVERYTHING. :) Craft punches, Em-punches (emboss and punch) , craft glues, acid free stickers...a fantastic range of them, the craft scissors, rulers, cutters, soft KUSH toys to send you screaming like a kid again, and much more! COME DOWN TO OUR OPENING THIS SAT 10am-10pm ORCHARD EMERALD aka (green MTV building opp somerset station). We are ALREADi open since the starting fo this week, and today is i8deal for you to step down and LOOKY LOOKY! :) Plleeaasse, do come! :) Spread the word! If you think you've seen stuff in SPOTLIGHT and ART FRIEND, we have more!!HAH, Okies, done with the promoting! My working hours now are: WEEKDAYS 1am-8pm / 12pm-9pm. WEEKEND aka sat: 10am-6pm / 1-10pm Sundays: 10am-3pm. OFF DAY: WEDS.Renay said smth to me that really made me realise how very very fortunate I am to be in this job, and it made me even happier with this job than ever. She said " yay! HE made sure you can sing for him on sundays!! ^^" HAHA. I mean,not taht i wasn't grateful alreadi...but if you read my previous post, thoughts of leaving choir ACTUALLY took place. It's not like I just wanted to simply shrug off my responsibility, but God knows, I considered the optiuon only because I thought I really needed time away from people there. I guess he was telling me to remember how much I enjoy singing for him. =o) I smiled when I read her msg. It was HIM tspeaking to me. I believe so.Now, in recent days, i have learnt new things. At least i acknowledge them more now.(1) SERIOUSLY, Try to be satisfied with everything. Cherish what you have, and most imporanttly, REMEMBER them all. All the good things ard you. I do. You may say, YA RITE. But, realli, I do. i still hope, sincerely, that even If I don't stay with Mum and dad, I do wana still keep in touch with them, talk to them, check up on them, coz i still love them. HOWEVER, living with them to me, for now, really seems like another dead end on both sides. Reading their previous e-mail for the thousandth time, still incurs my wrath. I'm sorry, i'm also human you know. Besides, i find I'm really learning out here. Learning to grow up, to realise, i am REALLY NOT a student anymore. i AM A WORKING ADULT. My boss, too reminded about that today. I still remember my roots, and constantly think about family. I wil NOT shrug my responsibility if i ever need to take care of mum and dad, coz they are STILl my parents.(2) Hvaing said that, some work protocol I've come to realise, REALLY has to sink in NOW. WHATEVER work I do, in whichever industry or environment, NO sms unless boss not around, NO phone calls, and even if you have NOTHING to do..DIE DIE find smth to do! HWA. (3) WORK LIFE really = NO LIFE. I'm no longer a student. I just can't seem to get used to that. Punctuality has become an issue with me and now i will NOT be late anymore. Coz it has sunk in that my job depends on MYSELF to achiever good results. My bosses DON'T owe me my job or living. For that, i have come to realise just HOW important it is. Earning money noet easy. Getting job not easy. Finding good bosses lagi more NOT easy. haha.(4) Don't take people's feelings for granted. I guess this is my issue with not being satisfied again. i don't wana be the person who expects everythign to go my way anymore. I hope I've never been totally like that , either. I treausre eveyone ard me, from my family mebers, to my dear, to harri and her family who have been so so nice to me, to renren who has been there enuff yet, I know he needs his own life too, to weiyi and stef...I think I owe them a major apology actually... to even esp dear's family. Dear's dad is in hospital now...cancer in leg, growing...all of us can only put our faith in God, and trust he knows what he's doing. Dear's mum sturggled to bring dear thru education and even though she's trying so hard to support the family and worry about uncle, she doesn't show her difficulties. I admire her ability to persevere. sdhe explains it is thru many years of working. I think today i learnt much from both her and Harri's mum. I wana be a good workinga dult, too. I am so grateful to still have dear and bro and everyone else around me.(5) God helps you, whatever it is.
and she dreams again...-Last night, and today-Haha,. after crying last night, I asked dear to call me, so that it would stop me from crying...Aiz, just one of those nites when i couldn't control myself, and tiredness got to me. After that it was madness! After toking to dear, Clarence called. ARGH. gotta entertain him..Bo-bian. Knew him thru Jayne..coz of one of the previous job offers. Then Ren called after reaching home. :) So happy he's home, safely. Amelia called me next, and we closed the conversationa ard 1+am. I bathed, ate, prepared my breakfast, as usual, and headed back to me room. Next, korkor came online. He fought with mum, and mum was being real difficult AGAIN. Haiz. When I heard what happened, i just wanted to "run". That same feeling came back. The resentment of hearing the way she complained about things, and worrying abt things that didn't concern her. MUM AH. WHY. Kor had to take it all again, and mum hurt him. I'm quite pissed off about it, coz korkor is nothing near disloyal, or un-trustworthy. It's just not fair to him. having said this much, I knew kor kept certain feelings to himself, and for that, I wana apologise publickly kor. I don't know why you seem destined to always be middle man, mediator, and the one who has to put up with unfairness. You have it in you, to tolerate,and i totally am awed by it. But I just don't have it. Yet, you're human, too. I know you have your own limits, and mum crossed it last night. I'm sorry kor. I really cannot imagine how much more you have to put up with now that I'm not physically around at home. A part of me though, still knows it's better I am also not there to add to the fire, like I always do.I'm worried for mum,don't know if her condition is worsenning or getting better. I pray that God takes care of mum for all of us.Today, I took cab to work AGAIN. haiyoyo. Lucky boss late. HWAHWA. Again, no customers. Onli a few walk-in customers. KORKOR dropped by!!!! *___^. Hee..shoo happiizzz... i made very lovely cards today! I kinda outdone myself, and realli was quite pleased with myself. I met up with Jonnie Fokky for lunch near our work place. We talked and all. I ate some finger good and headed home. Don't know why I'd been feeling so tired. Always get headache when i go home. I slept the min i came home, for four hours straight. Now I'm up typing my blog, and will be heading back to sleep. Kk, that's all for now. I gotta get down to practising my songs for the upcoming events le, and give Smelia my songlist. oh man..so many things, so little time!I'm tired and quite irriatated with all the "Mel, pliz go home can?" statements. I told u, STOP bugging me about it. The more u say, the more irritated I get, despite the fact that i know you care and love me as friends...all of you do. But, if everyone is gonna persistenly do this, I'm gonna stop going choir alreadi KK. argh. Please...I have heard practicarly, EVERYTHING u guys have to say., i know well enuff what's going on. I know..all yr concerns, and everything. How would I not know better? Than kor and myself?? PLIZ, stop bugging both of us. PLIZ. I dont care too much, what any of you think, on the other hand you know. In a way. Go think what u want, coz realli, I dont wana sound arrogant, but respect my wishes, my reasoning and what i deem best for now. UNDERSTAND?...I'm as complicated as I can get k. I know there's a side of me that people love..the wholesome good Mel. Who doesn't? But Im sorri, yes, I come with alot of defacts and errors too. Imperfections and things molded from my experiences, life, emtoions and all. Love or hate me, up to you. i have a part of me, that isn't all too good, in some people's eyes, but it's for me to sort. fake, hypocrite, sweet, kind, sacrificing, lover, friend, helpful, pretender, fakoo, whatever it is k. I'm made out of so much, Aand onli u guys know me best. so..please..don't drive me to my grave.
and she dreams again...-2nd day of work at "K"rafers' Paradise-Work day was good. A few customers came in to take a look, see, but unfortunately, no sales yet. I hope to see sales by next week, after this sat's grand opening. I'm pissed with myself, that i can never wakw up early enuff to take a bus to work. it is seriously not just lack of discipline, but a major sleep problem..plagued with nightmares and disrupted sleep. I wake to my eyes half closed, and so unilwling to open. Red were they, this morning. Rushed to work for the second day in a row, but happy to know cab fare is so much cheaper to orchard, from where I stay .Tmr, I MUST take the bus. Coz i know this job is good, and I just cant fuck it up any further. Other than tht, I made four cards today, using the materials my boss brought. : ) She's a super nice lady, pretty, and full of style. She wore a real nice dress today, with a lovely coat and boots. COOL HAH. She even closed shop early today, so much so that I had a good half hour before 7 to walk ard, before I started getting my -go-home-headahce-syndrome.I will be sleeping alot earlier tonight, coz I think my body is in need of some major rest. Feeling realllli tired this week. I ate bowl noodles for dinner tonight, as i was just too tired to buy or cook. I realli wanted to rest when i got back. At that moment, when I was eating the noodles, i felt like shan cai from meteor garden. In all honesty, I miss mum's food terribly. Tonight was one of those nights again, whereby I missed home, it's structure, and just wanted to eat dinner with kor in front of the television. Haiz....Nvm, these feelings come once in a while..then i'm back to the not so meotional side...I was crying quite badly, and asked dear to call. Felt MUCH better after tokiing to him. We discussed quite a fair bit about our gig stuff with the band, his own gig stuff, and my own events i'm singing for as well. Gonna discuss with Amelia later..gotta get stuff done. At least singing wise, I'm pretty happy that I have this gig thing going, godma's anniv, wedding duets and all...But I realli wana GIG man...like all the time..kor, r u up for it anot?? seriously?? Dear and I realised that it is true when ure too close, it's difficult to work ...business stuff..hahaa...anyways, im keeping EVERYTHING crossed, that he passes his TP tmr!!!! ^^ Then he can come out early! ;P YAYhaha..kk...now that I'm in a btetter frame of mind, I shall go bathe and sleep early..nitenite...
and she dreams again...YAY!!!!!!Hello every-buddy! ;p I'm happy today. ;-]My first day at w0ork was good (though i couldnt wake up). I learnt MANY THINGS today. I leant much more about the products, and am even more impressed by the goods than ever! I learnt the cashiering which is much easier than what I did before in Pizza Hut, and I did stock taking and packing. =p I'm proud of myself!!!!My boss, Jean has been very very VERY nice to me. She runs the whole saler business together with her fiance and her dad, who is my big boss. The bitch who was hired didnt trn up for work today, so I have to run the store the whole week, and she is giving me sunday off. =p Next week onwadrs, I requested for weds off, and maybe Thurs from september onwards. She's totally kewl about it. I even can do afternoon shift this sat coz of the duet im singing this sat for a couple's wedding in church. My boss jean, is actually busy with wedding preps together with my other boss, Joe. How sweet , right? They've been courting for the last TEN yrs, since JC ..wow. I told her i can render my talents if she needs singers. Seems I mite be doing stuff for her. :) Heh.I'm lucky, to have such a wonderful boss. i seriously cannot CANNOT fuck this one up . No more. Gotta be punctual, service oriented, responsible, and do the right thing. BE A WOMAN. hwahwa. :PApparently, my company gives NOTHING but cash to their empolyees. WHOA. haha. i got my part time pay for sat's work i did for them at popular. : ) Though i would still have to work half days on sundays, i think i realli cant complain much. Good boss, new store, new job, im given a chance to make things right for myself. These are the shit hours: Weekdays morning: 11am-7pm, 1-9pm Weekends 10-6pm, 2-10pm. I think it's all good. :pIm tired, shall go.
