and she dreams again...

Hols are over, and reality is realli back. I didn't make it, but my dear did, so that's great. Had a gd talk with my mum yesterday...that was nice. Third yr; i don't know what it means to me, and i hope for a smoother roller coaster...my heart is older, and my mind too...so i don't wana play any more games or whatsoever.
IS class was blah today lah. Home elctricity...hmm rite. Comp Animation is just ok. So happy I have Jermaine with me for Mondays...had a great time with her. Nikky, Samantha, Jon Loo are in my class...and familiar faces from mcm (for home electricity). Char, Jia, Viv, Robz, and a few familiar faces in cg class. Met rich, jus and shaun koh before class. That was refreshing.
Ive found out some interestinf cats abt the cg lecturer. like what the.
Anyways, a she said smth to me today...and i didnt react to it, though jerm jumped to my defence...all i have to say is, the fact that you said that gurl, means you don't know me. You realli don't anyway...if you did, you'd know my reasons. so, pls dont be so shallow. Actually, i'd think you'd know better...oh well. It's olrite la.
So, that was first day. I start recording sessions tmr nite!yay=) No lessons tmr...can sleep in.
one of my little bros just came back from holiday..poor boy still having jet lag..hahaha....kk...gonna go now.

and she dreams again...

With regard to relationships, eso those who are in one now when their young, (even for someone of my age), this is what Mybro and I feel, and I have to admit to some of it :

Young teens go into relationships, because they want to be loved, because they want to feel what it's like to be "in love". They go thru all the drama in it, and go into another and another, what is it anyway? In actual fact, we are all too young for relationships.Why make your options so limited, when you haven't even started to look at your options? After school, reality starts to hit hard. maybe one wants to go overseas and study? How long can the other wait? Yes, it's quite true isn't it? Eso since, nowadays it's the trend to be attached. I'm absolutely not condemning people in relationships, esp those of my age and younger. But these are true facts. Even I'm guilty of some of it. Those that last thru relationships that start young are few and far between.

haha...after going tru two over yrs of "wirl wind relationships", i think I've settled for "him" now yea? But, who knows there's someone else i'm yet to meet? heh...interesting.

and she dreams again...

We've got a new car :) It's black..and i love it. Everything in it feels higher, because it's a fatter, taller car. hahaa...I feel proud of my dad, coz I know it's his new "baby". I know how it feels, when you get something out of yr own earnings. Better when you have a loving family to share it with. Please don't mistake this for arrogance and me being proud. We had to change the car, like how you "trade in" mobile phones. Apparently, it was the best time to "trade it in" now.

I love my dad and mum. They've been so, very, very good to me. So much to the extent, i feel terribly "bad". I got a new blouse again today. However, shopping time was n't as much because i delayed everyone today, and grandma had a fall, again for the third time. She'e beginning to "lose it." Dementia is kicking in.

I love the way things are with my family now--My bro and I had one of our many sibling talks again last night(hence why i couldn't wake up today).---Everything happens for a reason, and who I am today, how i think and everything has been God's plan. My family, is the most important to me after God. "him" being the next probably, well, relationships wise. As for him, after talking with bro, I shared with him about "things" and we both agreed him and I right now, we're on different levels. Everything we're thinking now is different. he is still, very much, a boy. So, he'll have to grow up a little first. That means I'll have to wait. But that's alright. he needs time too.

From an e-mail my friend sent me, she said "maybe you get feelings for someone else, wheny ou miss the person you actually love"

And in a show I watched tonight, this was said: If you don't say what you need to say now, there may not be a tomorrow for you to say it. --I wish I could now, but, everything in it's own time. What's worrying me is that I'm getting weaker. Eberytime I go out, the next day i feel worse. I hope I'll be fine.

So, today i'll leave here with this again, that God has his wonderful, strange ways.

for school is gonna be a challenge, I still have to face it for now. I'll try to my very best.

Thank you.....

and she dreams again...

To sing well, one needs to take note of so many different things. Those who realli can do just that, they are really gifted. Those who don't haf...have to keep practising...
---------------

Someimes im just so happy things are the way they are...coz i feel that we're not prepared..we have too many differences...and too many similarities...how ironic. I think so many, many times, i have wanted to tell you. I can't even remember how many times. Today was just one of them. Thank you. For the calls, today, yesterday, and the msgs today and yesterday. You're way too skinny. You should eat more. There are so many things i want to share..and so many things i want to teach you. You prob have a lot i could learn too.
---------------

God sure has his strange ways. I read back a few letters Angeline and I sent to each other at one point, and in one line, she told me: God has his reasons for everything tha happens to you.You'll find out in due time. At that time, it was the break-up, and today, i sit and think back on what happened, and I realise; why,yes, he has given me the answer already. It was for me to grow up, to learn what's happening around me, to let my family learn somethings. Thanks Angie.
---------------

I don't know what's gonna happen when school starts, but i honestly believe that god really has a plan for me, so let it be. Just let it be. I'm strong after so much, and all the tears will just pull me thru whatever storms I haf to ride. I wish I could haf him to ride with me, but right now, he must have his own to ride too. But, he's lucky. He really has alot of things better than me. For that, I think I'm glad too. Though many say it's better to go thru it. Not neccessarily.I'd rathe he not.
-------------

I'm sleepy, and feeling a bit vulnerable now. So i better go. Good night.

and she dreams again...

The sleep last night was as good as not sleeping
i feel lousy today, like a hangover after crying last nite. Tankg God I didn't get nightmares.
Just feel low today. anyway, out for now.

and she dreams again...

There's a problem. And I'm worried. God must have some plan for me. Please, tell me now.

and she dreams again...

Thanks to all who tolerated all my e-mails and msn and all..haha..finally haf a proper e-mail account. I'm very happy :)

I've been practising my songs...i've been busy dealing with politics. I..I cantored well yesterday.

Anyway, my choir friend, Sherine just got married in India, and she's back here now. She sent us her wedding photos, and it was so nice looking thru them.

I was talking to a choir friend who's overseas studying now, and he freaked me out. he just said "his" name, to teas me out of thin air when he doesn't even know??!
help.

and she dreams again...

Since when did i start thinking like an adult? I'm amazed. I really didn't realise it until everyone started telling me...okies...hmm...i'll just leave it at that.
Abyway, I feel like putting up a song today, since i'm so tired and it was a pretty stressful day for me.

Olivia Newton John: I honestly love You

Maybe I hang around here
A little more than I should
We both knowI´ve got somewhere else to go
but I got something to tell yout
hat I never thought I would
but I believe you Really ought to know
I love you,I honestly love you

You don't have to answer
I see it in your eyes
Maybe it was better left unsaid
but this is pure and simple
And you must realize
That it's coming from my heart
And not my head
I love you,I honestly love you

I'm not trying to
Make you feel uncomfortable
I'm not trying to Make you anything at all
But this feeling Doesn't come along every day
And you shouldn't Blow the chance When you got the chance to say
I love you, I love you I honestly love you.

If we both were born
In another place and time
This moment Might be ending in a kiss
But there you are with yours
And here I am with mine
So I guess we'll just be Leaving it like this

I love you,I honestly love youI honestly love you

and she dreams again...

I'm backm home, after church, and after dinner, and after another long call. Cantoring tunred out fine, though it could be better, but some things happened. All i can say is that I really hate politics. I hate it so much.

and she dreams again...

Haven't been bloging...too sian. hahaha. Anyway today is d day in church...i think it's gonna be fun :) Hmm...i've been keeping in touch with one friend recently that i didn't expect I would have if you asked me like a yr ago...but , well, God sure gives suprises. I think now I have a certain level of trust towards him. Yah.

Gtg....gonna go church now. =)

and she dreams again...

I had a nice evening out with my sis, angelina. We had dinner at genki sushi, and went to buy some stuff. She bought me some stuff from australia!=)

This week, i've been dealing with too much political issues. can't stand it.

gtg now. nite.

and she dreams again...

*a Most productive day*

Today was definitely busy, busy, busy. And I'm happy it was a productive day. I woke up pretty early, and after reading papers, having breakfast and all, i think i prob tok out a few rounds of clothes from the dryer. Anyway, I was tasked to do some choir admin stuffm, and I did, throughout the day, calling, chatting online with diff choir members. This sunday, we're gonna be full force! Sherine will be back with her newly wed husband, and Fred and Sammie will be back too. Plus, we'll be taking photos for each section, and we'll be learning a new song.( heh, the one that I have duet with "him".) Cantoring this sunday too.

Besides doing choir stuff, had two super long conversations, and I mopped the floor too. Ard evening, i was already feeling rather tired, physically and mentally. heh. My newly adopted small nick brother, also kept smsing me non stop! hahaha...hwta else...mm, my bathe was real fast, then...made my new e-mail account. yes, will be deleting the other accounts soon.

new add is : melissa_liaw@yahoo.com.sg

newaz, even had time to wacth tv, but calling people took alotta time. Only sad thing, is that today, i just didn't have time for practise. Damn. it's 5am and I'm up again, coz I just did a hell lot of emailing and shit...coz of the new account. Phew.*sweatdrops*

Meeting my sis tmr...hope i can wake up man...tired...oh gosh...

I think i realli didn't stop doing any sorat work today..hahaha...the busy days are coming back.

and she dreams again...

Hm, so what story do I have to share today? What was different today, compared to the last two days? Mon-Meeting at sam's...Tues-facial...and today:

**FANTASTIC DAY**
I met the guy from the recording company. I learnt a lot from him today. he has a wealth of experience in singing. It brings singing up to a totally different level.He has all my respect, as far as his knowledge of the art in concern.
After that wonderful meeting, I left, having more determination than ever, to master this art that i love. Then, i met up with mum and spent another day shopping till night.=) She bought me alot of new stuff again.=) I really am very fortunate. Dad joined us later for dinner, and we bought him some stuff too!
Wile we were going to the car park, I bumped into Ryan on the street. He was so nice to call out to me. It was nice to see him again after school ended. Oh, i also bumped into a choir member on the bus when I was going to town, and i bumped into jill's old classmate on the mrt to town. Yeah. That's about it. However, Mum and I really had a very good time together today.=)

Now, i've got some choir admin stuff to do. Gotta go. See ya peeps.=)

and she dreams again...

-There's A First Time For Everything-

Yeah. today was my first time doing a facial. I went with mum to her friend's place for the facial. We spent a WHOLE afternoon there. That, i think was one of the things I didn't like about the facial. Too much time. I'm also not used to all the masks and stuff.

Bro is going for a four day camp tmr. Heh, it's always wanting and not wanting him to leave . Wenever he does go for camp, i'm alone, when I'm home. But then it becomes all too quiet. I hope he doesn't dtrain himself there too.

Hmm, tmr i'm heading down town, coz i have to meet up with that guy about the upcoming recording..grrr...why not tam[ines? argh. Nvm, will be out with mum anyway.

that's all for today. i received alot of forward sms today. and little Nick, from choir, has suddenly become my little brother. that will make my 1,2,3...I've lost count, but number ( ) little "brother" now. hahaha.

Received a call regarding some choir stuff earlier. It was a preety long call, and some serious discussion about some things. This would make the third time I've heard some one tell me that I'm matured. Ok.Thankyouverynice.=)

and she dreams again...


This hols, waking up at 2-4pm in the afternoons has been great. but of coz, ectremely terrible! The ting called DISCIPLINE better start kicking in or i'm dead.

and she dreams again...

I came home from meeting not too long ago. Now, I've gotten more things to pracise. Besides cantoring and you know what, I'm also singing a duet with "him". =) Oh, yes, you bet I was happy. It'll be this sunday along with cantoring. Just when I was talking about the hols being extra sian, this is what I don't like: Hols, nothing to do, well, nothing much at least, but when semester starts, i'm always bombarded with alot of things. We were discussing about choirs matters, that the choir attendace has been bad, late comers getting worse, and people not feeling "high" about choir already. This happens every year. It's only a while after retreats, that everyone is high.

We need to start working on this again. We'll also be organising the yearly retreat soon.Plus, just as i wished, we are coing Christmas peagent again this year, with st ceceilias! ;) So, i'll be bust with organising of all this, plus school, plus the recording of the christmas albums that I'm tentatively involved in. To add on, i'll be busy with some major stuf as well. I don't know about how I'm going to manage, but I guess I will. It's a wait and see idea.

Jared the orange carrot mushroom decided to happily tease us again during meeting today!
Coz, after we were told to sing duet, he started teasing "him". Never mind that, when Dad fetched us, Jared blatantly teased me! It was smth about "him" having to wake up early for school now, but Jared himself even earlier...(he was complaining you see).. So irritating, he was like "yah, but you think he wakes up early rite? so poor thing rite?". Gosh. Recently he's been the main person teasing us alot. I mean ALOT. super confrim he knows le.

I think it's not time yet. more and more things are teeling me it's not time yet. I'll leave it as that.

and she dreams again...

Today is one of those "Mel-talks-to-herself-day". I've had this habit since I was young. I'd always talk to myself, like as if I was talking to a friend. So, I woke up pretty late again, had my breakfastlunch, and mopped the whole whole AGAIn. I'm soi so sian liao. Worse, i'm becoming some silly little girl, thinking of him day and night. hahaha. So very pathethic. I haven't been reading my memoris of a geisha and I don't know why.i want to read but everything i've been doing all feels terribly mundane. MUNDANE. Can't stand it. I mis him already. But i think he'll me coming for meeting tonight. Hey, don't tell me all i write about is him and what i do at home. Don
t tell me i'm such a bore since you read the same things i write everydasy. Well, give me something better to write about then. I'm not someone who puts up news paper articles on my blog. Damn it. You're probably just as bored as i am. So, there you go, the hols. Really dont know which i prefr sometimes. Really. Bet you would agree. Schl? nah, want hols. Hols? nah want schl. freak.

and she dreams again...


Forgot to mention, my sammie is home!!!!!!! yay!! hehe, he had some a great time in sydney and melbourne!! =)

Also forgot to mention, "he" reccomended us to eat at Chilli Padi at Joo Chiat area, but we couldn't find it, and ended up eating at this place ard the corner. the food there was delicious! We had sweet potato kankong, sweet and sour pork, huge prawns with toufu, a mohiang kind of dish, and crysenthemun tea!

yummy....loved tonite's dinner...if only, he was w me....

and she dreams again...

I wanted to post last night. I've been having some terrbe nightmares recently. It's usually after i think too much about certain things. Also, my nose has been getting worse at night, and sometimes i can't sleep for hours. feel terrible the next day when i didn't sleep well the night before.

i was feeling very down last night, but after i spoke to two friends online tonight, i feel much better. I hate it when bad memories come back to me. It wqs sec schl related. I was feeling lousy about some stuff. I think i had a whole paragraph of thoughts i could have written out last night, and it would have been one of those super deep ones, but I've lost it now. Oh well. Maybe that's better.

Choir was alright. Tenors section moved to the seats behind my section, instead of beside us. Their miking is much better now, but just a bit too loud now. My family ended up talking with his family quite a bit today after mass. It doesn't always happen, but it felt a little weird. we like, didn't move? we just stood there, and talked a little. Mum said wanted to ask them to join us for dinner, but decided not to. darn! His bro, weijin, has been a little funny lately. he's not been coming to choir for weeks now. Dunnoe what's happening.

Sarah used this to cheer me up: Always think od the diamond. Hoe is a diamond formed? It is thru preasure and heat. we are like diamonds, when bad things happen, we learn, we shape our diamons, and gradually, we'll be more and more beautiful diamonds. And Jill also said God shines thru us, and we look beautiful that way.=)

There's a section leaders meeting tmr. Bro, me, and Him are involved as usual. So, guess that will kill two birds with one stone. Doubling up our meeting. Spoke to him online, but he didn't reply again. He's already starting school tmr. Poor thing. I passed him the stuff today. Gave some crap excuse. feel guilty, but hell, it's been with me for weeks! I think i know what he's thinking.

Anyways, I ammended my friendster account. And i was upset over something that started with me going into friendster lst night. Oh well. I'll haf to deal w that. it'll all be fine again.

and she dreams again...

Today was nice=)
Woke up super late, but, still managed to play piano, practise songs, and spend time with mum in the kitchen! Hahaha=) Didn't really, like do stuff with her, but watched her make breads, cook japanses beans for snack tonight, and fried cheese omelette!! ;)

I was also offered another opportunity to record again! Thanks to Sam! Starting when school starts, so I'm gonna be real busy! Along with other stuff as well!

And my sister, Angel just came home from australia last night! hehe, was talking to her earlier today, and really happy to hear from her again ;) Feel so bad, I promise I won't postpone our next meeting!!! Can't wait to see her. However, she's only got a week of holidays left, while we have two more weeks. How strange! I think because they are having SIP (ITP) Next semester. It's the whole of the semester, so no real lessons for them. How lucky!

Alright, shall update again maybe later.

and she dreams again...

Good Afternoon everyone
I couldn't sleep last night, as i wrote. From sleeping at 2am, i ended up sleeping at 430am. I think I only fell asleep at 530am. Qhat's worst, I was already hungry like ^#$%^$#&%^#&$# yea you get it. So, sleeping made it more difficult. I had some weird dreams. One was about being with this bunch of friends, swimming in this place, and we went too far out. i was w some guy i apparently love alot. I don't know who! wthell? And there was this other guy among the group of friends tht i didn't take with me...coz i grabbed this guy i apparently love oh so much, and swam back to the place we came from. Like, how could i possibly havbe that much strength? Hahaha. And another dream, it hgad my family members...we seem to be at thegrund floor of my block...and Neil and some of my friends were w me. Don't ask me...it was smth damn weird w neil...*puzzled* He was suddenly extremely tall! crazy man.

Rught now, i feel like i didn't sleep, coz i woke up at 10? 1230? and 2pm..before I actually woke up.

and she dreams again...


It's 3am and i can't sleep. All lights were off an hour ago, but i can't sleep. My nose is running again, like it always does every single night. I'm so sleepy, but i can't sleep. my mind decides stays active for some strange reason, and it just replays anything at all, from my sea of memories in my head.

I hate nights like these, when it takes more than an hr to sleep. Some nights I sleep so well, and some nights, like last night, will be full of bad dreams. These are usually the really bad dreams that make me cry in the dream, and after a while, I realise I'm actually crying in my sleep. What kind of dreams? Those that have episodes of my worst fears, played out in my head. I don't knwo where they come from, and they totally freak me out.

What was i thinking of earlier as i tried hard to sleep? Besides hoping to clear the continuously clogged nose, which likes to make me uncomfortable every night and morning, my mind floated back to our class chalet at pasir ris. the one where we all drank till some of us, like me, got ourselves silly. I remembered the dare rich made me do, and also the confession he made me say. i wonder if he realli did tell the person. I hope he didn't. then i remembered that our class might be holding a chalet again this july i think.

That made me remember my choir is going to be having our retreat again some time soon.
I think my mind is probably thinking alot of things now. i became quite irritated and just got out of bed, to find myself typing here now. I want to sleep, damn it.

and she dreams again...

Went out with mum and nick today. Did a bit of shopping, and nearly found something nice, but turned out not to be so nice.

Also went to watch Harry Potter, and i liked the part where they went back in time.
Haha, every year, the "defence of the dark arts" teacher gets replaced! hehehe... Don't you like that crazy tree that swings you up and down? wahahaha. The dementers looked alright. I was hoping they'll be scarier. The kids have grown so much, and next harry potter we'll see both boys with their special someone's. yeah. I love that new brromstick harry was given, plus that wonderful invisible blanket! wohoo!

Alright. I'm really very tired today. Gtg. Nites, dears.

and she dreams again...

Why are you so special to me? The way i become so happy just because i got to talk to you, made me look so wrong, and like as if I realli did strike a lottery.
Why are you so special to me? Talking to you when you don't reply. But those two days of memories will live in me forever, and never leave me.
Why are you so much more photogenic than me? Even though Dawn thinks that I am, Sometimes i get a nice pic but, You always do.
Why are you so adorably lazy, and hence always asking me to help you and do stuff for you and yet i don't mind?
I feel like i'm going silly. Day in, day out, the person who I think most of,is you.
The way I feel for you, and the way things are going, is prob written in every love song on earth.
You'll prob appear in my dream again tonight. This is madness.

I chose my electives this afternoon. Basic home electricity and 3D animation, with jermaine from mcm. they have so much more electives than us. My request will haf to wait till Mrs Choo gets back. Oh damn. What luck.

and she dreams again.

I
am
bored
:p
hahahaha

I
got
a
chance
to
talk
to
him
earlier
!!!!=)

I
need
songs
giuve
me
songs
!!

and she dreams again...

M	Modern
E	Edgy
L	Lucky
I	Innocent
S	Strange
S	Slippery
A	Altruistic
L	Loud
I	Insane
A	Ambivalent
W	Warm

Name / Username:

Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com

and she dreams again...

*tired day*

Haha. yes, woke yp like at 230? But my body is aching all over esp my legs. And for some strange reason, i'm awfully tired. My eyes have felt like they're closing the whole day long.
Alias is back, and damn it's kickass.!!! *rawks*
Chris came back from cambodia le!! yay! Welcome back dearie...
"he" was online the whole day today...and damn, if you ask me, it feels so good to at least be able to "watch" and kinda know whether he's busy, away or what...yeah. he's gone to sleep already. We didn't talk today...and neither did he reply my msgs, but he did so yesterday. Usually, i'll have like with no way of knowing what he;s doing during the week. at least now i do ;)
Dawnie has an eye for someone now. Hehee...and she's even better than i am at such stuff. wahahaha. So nice to talk to her like the good old times again.
Hmm...well "news" seems to be spreading a bit. hehe. Till you find out. hahaa.
Alritey. I'm so sleepy...nite.

and she dreams again...

*Wondeful week*

I've had the most incredible week . The most lovely more like it. Just believe me when I say this. I don't want to explain yet why.
there's another reason also, coz I spent alot of time with "him" this week. i think I probably remember every action, every joke, every single moment we spoke and were together this week.
I will stop refering to him as my baby i Guess. he's not even mine yet. But, when he is, I think it'll be more special to announce.
God worked wonders for me this week. I thank all for yr prayers and yr well wishes. lso for your hugs and support. love you all.
There are some friends i miss such as Neil, Gabriel, Jasmine mei, Angel sis, Dawn, Kellyne, Vincent, Uncle Zul, Abang, Stephanie Ng and Stefanie Yang, Samuel titi, And my Sammie the other chopstick who is away now. Reading thru all yr msgs again reminds me of what special friends you are.
This week, my dearest, dearest faction and choir have shown me so much love. Thank you.
I'm all excited and ready to go. Saw alot of seniors and juniors today.
"He" finally added me online. Jared the orange carrot and ex-mushroom aka NS boy, teased him about us again today. this is the third blatant teasing in my presence tsince the vigil. i don't know how long it's been going on and I don't know what it means. I've got some lovely photos of "him" and the rest though. :)
I made two new friends and have clicked very well with them. thanks Jared and Brian for introducting them. Hey kalyn and Don, it was most lovely spending the last two days with you guys and everyone. I really enjoyed myself.

-if it's something you really want, the universe will workthings out to help you- Dawn Toh.

"haha, I feel so expensive wearing a 400 dollar shirt"-W
"you see, the dice is green now, and yellow there,,,,you see it? now, blow at it. Okay, now it's green here, and red there. haha...you know why?"-W

Dearest, no words can express how I feel now. Thank you. We made it.=) Let's work hard together again. We can.=)

Sis, i bet you know what i'm talking about coz i told you. Hush.

and she dreams again...

hehehehe...=) It was such a fun day!!! *grinz*

and she dreams again...

Met "him" again today! =) Oh, gosh, he was so super sweet looking and it's just this thing he does to the hair and something he prob puts on his face that makes him look good compared to his usual bespectacled untidied hairdo look. Hehe...seeing him again tmr and sunday. yeah. ;p It's another lucky week for me that i see him like five times? hahaha....free from all the thoughts, just happy for those moments. It's kinda good too.

kays, gotta wake up superbly early tomorrow...gtg bye!

and she dreams again...

-rest day-

I was suppose to have gone to the LOTR exhibition and later the HARRY POTTER movie, but I didn't feel all that good, so I cancelled and stayed home. I'm glad I did,as I spent the day pracitsing and practising, and on the piano too. I learnt a new song on it. "AIR IN G STRING". Leanr the first page, and still practising.

The practising is gruelling but good. ;)

Tmr is another long day,so I've gtg.

nite, swt dreams

and she dreams again...


Man, I'm weak. Woke up real early today and went to church to sing for a wedding. It was a military style wedding. There's something I always take from the weddings i go to, and that is the readings and especially the sermon father gives. There's a particular reading i'll never get tired of, and that is the one famous reading about Love. Love's ways that are god's ways. Love is not jealous or conceited. It does not keep a list of wrongdoings. Love is patient and Kind and i bet many of you know what the rest of it is. The truth is, true love, is that great. Like father mentioned in the sermon, love defies the rules of science. When humans would clobber at each other's mistakes, and fight over something, a couple's love defies those rules and forgive, understand and comprimise. Early weds try thier best to practise this.

It was a nine am practise, so lunch was at 11 odd, with "he's" family and two other friends. After last night, i decided to just be cold and talk as least as possible with him around. But as strange as it got, he was very friendly today. ((WHAT THE)) yes.

SPILL hot SPILL cold and we seem to continuously play these games. Or I, continuously play these games. We had to go off somewhere together, just him, me and bro, so we did end up talking quite a bit this afternoon. STRANGLE ME. Just when I made such a decision. But with the mindset that there's no hope, it did feel alot easier to just chat and be normal. Not expecting anything is good.

I was mesmerized by his cute, girnny smile and his sparking eyes again, and sometimes he's so bo-chap abt things, and so lazy, it makes me wonder why i love him so. I think it may realli be true, angie, that it's just not my time to have him yet, and not his time to receive someone like me, and deal with something like this. he's too happy now. Honestly. he really is. he doesn't even have enough "experience' to have emotions for a sad love song. do you know what im saying? he sings w/o the feeling, coz he doesn't quite know what that feels like.

So, with no hope, and more patience, like I promised, I will continue loving, and being that loving, but whatever hopes, whatever expressions of whatsoever, willnot be done anymore. I'm already feeling better this way.

he's such a chopstick, literally.

and she dreams again...


It seems 10, 000 over have taken application forms and 4,000 over have applied online for Singapore idol! Man, is that cool?

yea

and she dreams again...


I think tonight, I'll probably be shedding some tears again. What do i mean? I mean, yes, I'll continue loving, coz God wants me to. But expressing it is gonna end today. I cannot take him being cold to me any longer. It is becoming way too obvious to me.

Angel and Angel, haha, thank you both for being my "guardians". At least you're real angels =)

I'm gonna be fine, coz I'm picking the stones up and paving for myself a new path. The old trampled road has been travelled on much too often. So, it's maybe time to walk on new stones.

Peace to all. Love to all.

and she dreams again...


wohoo!@ hey everyone, I lost three kg!!! I still don't believe it! hahaha. So, so so happy! Last time I was XX kg...I always thought I was XX kg. Tehn, decided to weigh myself again, and I lost three kg! That rawks!!! =)